Have you ever caught yourself thinking about who you were, who you are, and who will you be? This can be a scary and deep question to some because once you start thinking about oneself like this it can almost be certain that your mind and your emotions will be led usually down a dark alley with all the negative experiences, thoughts, and emotions one has dealt with or may come to deal with. But the plane of consciousness each individual is at also plays a part in how they react when faced with these unknown questions. If one does not sincerely observe themselves they would say I am pessimistic and should be more positive. These are the by-passers that have the partial truth and falsehood idea of ‘think positive be positive’, ‘think rich grow rich’, ‘all is one, love and light.’ This is one extreme end of the pendulum; the other extreme end would be ‘I am useless’ ‘There is nothing good about me’ ‘I am a failure’. Either way you look at yourself you will find that in both of these responses one is expressing a half truth and being insincere. “I am the greatest person alive.” “I am the stupidest person alive”. Each statement obviously comes from two different people but with different planes of consciousness and both idea-forms will have its effects and consequences. A sincerer approach to these questions would be for one to reconcile and bring their attention to both sides of the pendulum, and working to establish an equilibrium between the two opposite ends. Overall though, one must realize that no matter which approach is taken it is in its own way objective and relatively true. One must not say, “It is this!” “It is that!” For all in itself is absolutely necessary, otherwise there would be no multiplicity of individualistic expression in this infinite existence.
Hello everybody. Today I am expressing and continuing the topic of loneliness. Loneliness is such a wide experience to discuss and many ideas and sub-topics can be branched off from it. I have been noticing and experiencing this myself lately and I am sure that many of you have as well. As I fluidly write this article my intention is not for others to sympathize or to receive condolences. For these are just superficial and ‘normal’ responses one receives from others and ultimately barely even scratches the surface of the ‘problem.’ Instead, I intend to write to better understand these thoughts and emotions that have manifested in effect due to loneliness. (and not only for my understanding but for others to understand the same feeling they are experiencing themselves) Also as we bring our attention and concentration to this experience of loneliness we are temporarily feeling, we can in effect through our free-will choose to form idea-forms that are more aligned with benevolence and onward progression.
Understanding and bringing our attention to loneliness. One of the toughest part of experiencing loneliness has to probably be the person trying to understand this feeling. Some of the key points we must understand is that loneliness and the cause of it is not a ‘one size fits all’. The severity and happenings are innumerable and one must not compare their circumstances to the other for this will only result in more confusion. It is important to realize the feeling of loneliness one feels is the same as others, but the reaction and natural impulse one puts out is determined by their level of consciousness. For instance, I have felt and experienced loneliness many times throughout my life. While some experiences may root from the same cause, there are also other happenings that we have never gone through that result in this feeling of loneliness. It is often more than not the uncontrollable rather than the controllable that makes us feel this way; more on this later. Another point to understand is that the level of consciousness one possesses at the time of the experience is very detrimental to the effect it has on them. Through our own choice we ourselves have the power to either consciously or unconsciously react to this happening. We can consciously or unconsciously choose to bring our attention and concentration to the problem or not. If we consciously choose to bring our attention and concentration to this feeling we in result work towards self-progression and realization instead of ignoring and bottling up the experience and emotion. As I said, depending on the consciousness of the person, choosing to consciously face the feeling and experience is just the beginning. In effect, idea-forms are than created by the individual (some idea-forms are actually not created from the individual, and instead reside and come from the collective idea-forms of society. This is not yet realized or one should say mainstream in modern psychology or by the modern psychologist. For the reader or psychologist to understand how this is even possible requires a ton of explanation and experience. Most importantly direct experience is required for the being, the self-limiting mind along with its finite dialogue more often than not results in denial when this topic is addressed. This will not always be, as we evolve and move forward through time both individually and collectively more people will broaden their perceptions) and more often than not when someone is choosing for the first time to consciously understand this temporal mode of existence they will create self-defeating ideas rather than forward progressive thoughts. Some may choose to blame themselves while another may choose to blame others. Both reactions are of no real help, instead one must tell themselves “It is my responsibility to focus my awareness and try to understand this experience I am temporarily going through.” (that alone requires a strong will and a sincere aspiring attitude for progression) This brings us back to what I am still further explaining on what attitude one chooses to respond with. Just like the causes that led to this experience of loneliness, there are no set or certain happenings that can determine the attitude one will react with. Our attitudes are simply indeterminable and infinite. Our attitudes are mostly drawn and a result from our past traumas, wounds, triggers, shadows, and misleading childhood thought-forms. Once again, these traumas and wounds and etc. vary from person to person and in their nature, are subjective and unlimited. (DO NOT allow yourself to take the words of someone who states, “I had it worse” or “That is not a ‘good’ reason to be lonely” seriously)
Attitude. The person going through and consciously choosing to go through loneliness for the first time will more often than not react and possess a negative attitude compared to the person who has consciously chosen many of times to bring their concentration to the feeling. If I were to imagine or try and understand one of the causes of this, I would say that the current “Positive Mindset Only, Think Happy Be Happy, Positive Vibes Only” you know the basic idea that one should think positive only and everything will eventually be okay idea? Yeaaa, that. This idea-form is very misleading and mis-informative. (one can say it is so widely spread that it has transformed into a false and deceiving characteristic some people use to label their self as) Even though this idea-form is so widely spread and agreed upon through many books, authors, teachers, and solutions that does not necessarily make it ‘right’ or ‘true’. Do not get me wrong, if I were faced with the choice to choose positivity or negativity I would choose optimism. But the laws of nature and the universe is not objective to either or. Even the idea of calling oneself a ‘realist’ is misleading due to the simple fact of setting limits on the limitless. It is conformity which makes one believe and spread this half-truth idea-form. This new-age positivity coping mechanism is also used as a bypass which results in no actual real and lasting integral progression. It may temporarily solve the issue but in reality, one will eventually come back to the same level of consciousness. Once someone has had “enough” they will realize how misleading and unconscious society is. For the people who are reading and want more of a sincere and aspiring progression that is more aligned with our true-self a raise in consciousness is required. One must heighten and broaden their consciousness to understand the experience. This requires a conscious will that approaches the problem from all imaginable sides. To form an idea based on multiplicity and equilibrium rather than choosing to look at the problem as society does which is in a fragmentative matter. Positivity is only one solution out of many, choosing to address and perceive the problem from different angles is much more fruitful. This leads to the attitude of going into what society address as negativity, our shadows, traumas, wounds, past conditionings and habits. All of which that make us who we are (or at least who we THINK we are). But in effect one comes to find that if you consciously choose to attain this attitude it can ‘open up a whole ‘nother can of worms’. Choosing to respond with an attitude that is more aligned with reality and our true-self requires oneself to enter an unknown and uncomfortable reality. This is tough on some people because as they are already experiencing one undesirable emotion they now start to feel many others. (and again… in effect people will instead choose to choose comfort over progression and disregard the true solution to their ‘problem’) What I noticed through experience was that there are numerous other problems and feelings that may arise when you try to understand one feeling. This is very uncomfortable and in no way ‘fun’. I understand why so many people in society are interested in superficial things such as consumerism, sports, social media, TV, (many people say they do not watch TV while unaware that it is 2021 and the TV is now in your hand and backpocket) anything in our physical world that distracts our mental and emotional self from being with its self. People are concerned with everything going on outside of them rather than taking that focus and concentrating on what is happening inside of them. At the current moment this is ‘normal’ though, but with the current events that have been taking place more people are raising their consciousness.
Currently, I myself am experiencing this feeling of loneliness again. I have noticed this feeling trying to ‘take me’. Although the experience is not new to me, I can say due to the decisions that I have consciously made I have put myself in this situation. I am realizing that some experiences in life are part of the indeterminable while some are a part of the determinable. (Uncontrollable and controllable) This experience is a little different than the others in my past because I choose to be with no one but myself and I continue to choose to stay to myself. (This is very similar to my past-self) I do not consciously make these decisions out of ignorance and think to myself that I am better than everyone, nor do I go to the extreme at the other end of the spectrum which would be me thinking “I am not like the others no one understands me”. This may sound contradicting to some but to the ones who can relate will understand what I mean for words will not allow the mind to truly grasp what I am stating. I simply am in a temporary moment of my life again where I do not have a person to connect with on this physical plane. I am conscious of this and I am okay with this, for I know this is only temporary and the time will come naturally when it is right and I will have people around me who I can relate and connect with on a more true-level. As I was saying earlier, even though I feel lonely I have a will and a consciousness power that if I use correctly I can have it work with me rather than against me. I am able to choose how I am going to feel and perceive the circumstances I am currently going through. I started out nothing like this though, I use to fall.. and when I would fall I would kick my own self while I was down hard.. very hard. This is important for those of you who are reading and are currently feeling more ‘down’ than ‘up’. While many people would agree and easily say “Things will get better”, this is true but only a partial or half-truth. Things do get better but due to the cyclical nature of the world and the universal laws, ‘things’ will come back to being what one perceives as ‘bad’. (this is not a logical reason to not want to put in the work to understand oneself and how thyself can effectively make their lives more fruitful) I will express this again.. I am not being negative or pessimistic. I write with sincerity and truthfulness to the readers because I care about people making real change. I can easily say and conform to what society has as its standards but I choose not to. Take a second to look at the world from natures point of view, the seasons change, the breeze comes and goes, the leaves fall, the sun rises and sets, our nature is cyclical and we are no different than that just because we have a brain and walk in a way that appears to be separate from the ground. As they say.. There IS a light at the end of the tunnel, but what they forget to mention is that this light does temporarily tend to, ‘flicker and go out at times’, but that does not change the fact that the light is always there. Another way I like to think of us as is that we are walking through this forest called life, eventually the sun will set and we will have no other option but to walk through the forest at night, this is scary, this is uncomfortable, but this is also only temporary because as time goes on dusk will turn to dawn and the sun will rise once again and on we go in this cyclical manner never forgetting that the Sun is and always will be there.
According to a study done by experts at Harvard University, more than 5.34 million people are experiencing loneliness RIGHT NOW. (Now some will read that and take it what it is for and run off and repeat it without question. Others, will question the statement and think well how can they be so sure about that) Congrats to the second group of people who have learned not to be so gullible when it comes to reading news or ‘statistics’ lol because I totally just made that number and study up. I don’t have to be an expert NOR do I have to attend “Harvard University” to not only infer but intuitively know that loneliness is one mode of suffering that many people experience. So many things can be said about loneliness and it can easily branch off into other subtopics, but for today I would like to share my perception on loneliness and aloneness.
Loneliness and aloneness are known as synonyms, and if you look up the definitions they will most likely state the same thing. For this moment though I’d like you all to try and think of them as opposites to each other. Or even a better word to describe them, Aloneness is Complementary to loneliness. Loneliness. Most of us can first handedly describe and share what it is like to be lonely. For loneliness is experienced by tons of people and this direct experience itself makes us truthfully KNOW what loneliness is without thinking about it intellectually and using our mind-instrument to describe it. I refer to loneliness here as its more known meaning which is a temporary mode of suffering and pain, a negative emotion, and what most people consider an undesirable experience. Loneliness can be perceived in many different ways and can vary in severity depending on the consciousness of the person experiencing it; there is no one size fits all. In times like now especially more than usual, people are experiencing loneliness, even though detrimental external events are bound to cause loneliness to people we still come to the fact that loneliness has been around far before the present and recent past happenings. Why is something that is not only widely known by the mind but experienced directly by millions and millions of people hardly ever spoken about? Why do people in group conversations like to make boring superficial talk about their accolades and ‘plans’ at restaurant dinner tables? Why is our society based off how much we have rather than how much we give? One can even assume and question the fact that most “Friends” (Convos between you and one other) do not touch upon important topics such as loneliness when they talk to each other. Loneliness can invoke feelings of vulnerability, (which many people have a false perception of this feeling) can make one feel insecure, (everyone/the majority possess to some degree or less a level of insecurity) and can have one feeling like he/she is in an unknown space and very uncomfortable empty abys. Loneliness can have one thinking such detrimental thoughts such as “why am I such a ‘loser’’, “there is something ‘wrong’ with me”, “I am not ‘normal’ why can’t I be like the others.” Feelings and though-forms such as those said unconsciously smother the person who consciously perceive and notice this feeling of loneliness. For the people who do not feel or think in this type of way are for the most part not facing their feelings and thoughts for what they are and instead find external stimuli to avert their concentration and attention to. This is a whole ‘nother topic in itself and is very harmful to the well-being of a person. Said persons and the large-sum of people who react in this way will most likely keep responding in this unconscious/unhealthy way their whole lives. Now for the others that not only feel this loneliness but courageously (at the moment one has no idea they are reacting in a more courageous way) draw their concentration to it, problems inevitably start to rise due to the unconscious/ignorant idea-forms one has of this reality we call the universe and of themselves. This world is built and ran off of falsehood, so for one to judge and conform yourself to society and your immediate peers is not necessarily ‘wrong’ or ‘bad’, but perhaps not aligned with your potential true-self.
Loneliness can be felt by one who is either in their room by themselves or in a crowded market area. Both scenarios have the same core feeling of being separated from others and themselves. I have felt different planes of loneliness throughout my life. Some are easier to describe and put into words while other levels of loneliness are too draining to even put into an idea or written statement for one to comprehend what it must be like. (Many will understand what I mean by this if the experience is known) I use to have this overwhelmingly feeling of loneliness all while pretending everything was okay. I would feel so separated internally that I naturally started to exist externally in the same way. From moments of locking myself up in my bedroom and not leaving the house all summer to locking myself in the restroom stall in school during lunch break. From other moments of walking down the halls with nowhere else to go and no one else to see but my next scheduled class and teacher, to walking with my family and still feeling this emotion of separateness. I always over-thought that… did anyone else? I always over-thought and questioned my showing up early or being the first to enter class in high school. I would think to myself useless things such as ‘you don’t want to be seen always going into class early and or being the first one, people will think you are lame’. I observed that, and some people can relate to this and can take notice that mostly all the kids in between passing time for class are mingling with other friends and don’t usually go straight to class. For the majority of high school, I never had friends to speak to on my way to class or spend extra time to go and see before the bell rang. Despite that, I would make it seem like I did and would sometimes just walk around aimlessly to kill time so I could be like the others. I would think too deeply about my circumstance, and obviously this over-thinking was in no way benefiting me. I have briefly described here some instances and happenings in my life relating to loneliness strictly to give the reader who may be experiencing or has experienced loneliness something to relate to. Perhaps the truth is that many people experience loneliness, it’s just very few express this to others who aren’t ‘close’ to them. And if I were asked why is that so I would have to reply with I do not know… for to even began thinking about or writing about that statement is a whole ‘nother article in itself. There are many causes, experiences, events and catalyst that can be said about why people do not openly express true feelings, thoughts, and desires.
Now, as I said earlier… I believe loneliness is only a temporary mode of existence. (It is in a way an illusion, I use the word illusion here in meaning of not belonging to the supreme reality and truth of our nature, but with that being said this illusion is still very real) And I can now say as well, loneliness is a great teacher. I understand it is difficult for one who is directly experiencing this feeling to even consider that but in due time one may come to this realization if they consciously choose to, in due time. The same way one got themselves in this state of loneliness whether that be unconsciously or consciously, one must use their will to get themselves out. Once again, this free-will can be strong or weak, conscious or unconscious, concentrated or ignorant. There are innumerable ways to get out this mode we call loneliness. Some ways may be more or less beneficial to the being while other ways may temporarily solve the issue but in the long-term still existing in a dark corner of one’s being. If one is to consciously solve their feeling of isolation and separateness than one must begin by willfully thinking and concentrating on the reality of things and our existence. Things such as in the ‘beginning’ we came into this world alone and in the ‘end’ we have no other choice but to ‘leave’ alone. Observe nature, even nature seems to us to be connected more than we are. The trees are still… rooted, grounded, and connected to the earth while we walk along this world not confined to anyone or anything, seemingly and illusively separate from our nature. But this is not so, our sense-vision is deceiving to us and if we fail to understand the higher reality of our self and nature we will only continue to endure suffering and pain in moments where one can choose not to. Everything and everyone seems separate from us but in reality, we are all interconnected. The animal gives and receives to the plant while the plant receives and gives to the animal. There is a natural give and receive relationship in this existence. What seems like loneliness is a misconceived and false perception of the truth-existence of our aloneness. Now I speak of aloneness here in a way of truth, positivity, delight, and calmness. If one wants to solve their problem of loneliness at its roots than one must go into this aloneness. This seems contradicting but it is far from that, by going into our aloneness and realizing the inner self and doing the inner work that must be done one consequently comes out of this draining mode of loneliness. Now of course this is not the only way to realize and get oneself out of this feeling. Reason and thought can also be used to heal oneself. In this way, the mind is more involved and relied upon. One uses reason to develop idea-forms to present to themselves and in effect change their perception of their current reality. While this can solve the problem of loneliness temporarily it still only scratches the surface. For the mind is an instrument used for our will. The mind is incapable of understanding the infinite and unlimited existence in everything and everyone. The mind is for memory and not where true-knowledge exists. I consciously choose to realize the other perception of loneliness which I refer to here as aloneness. Do not get me wrong though, it took me years and constant battles with my mind ego to realize a more aligned perception of my aloneness. Before I tried using my mind, ego, and other external stimuli to solve my issue. But I don’t know.. during those moments I just felt like something was still missing. There was still something inside of me that was lingering behind. When I started to choose a different perception of loneliness and not only think of it but feel it in a more beneficial way, I noticed other parts of my being were being effected as well. Aloneness is a beautiful thing really; in time of despair aloneness is mistaken for a falsehood of negativity. In reality aloneness is necessary for one who consciously chooses to fix their issues at their roots. Take for example, the couple who always spends time together. They hardly ever are seen apart and in need of always having each other by their sides. While this can temporarily not be an issue, in the long-term it begins to have an effect. Without one even noticing or realizing it they become tired and bored of what seems to be the same presence of their significant other. They start to think they ‘know’ each other, they start to take each other for granted, they don’t pick up on the lovely little things that are changing without and within each other. They have unconsciously sacrificed aloneness and the teachings it comes with to avoid feelings of loneliness in their relationship. Whether one consciously chooses to be alone or one unconsciously chooses to be lonely, what can be said about both is that they are extremely valuable teachers and many lessons can be learned through these experiences.
Loneliness and aloneness are one of the greatest teachers of life. Mostly everyone, if not everyone, will go through this experience. We have a choice to consciously or unconsciously take this lesson and attain as much knowledge out of it as we can. No matter what the determinate or cause of this feeling is, what matters is that the feeling is there and equal to all. Loneliness does not pick and choose based off of external characteristics like race, gender, age, or marital status. Loneliness is a part of this world and in order for us to accommodate to it we must establish in our true-being an equilibrium within. We must understand that loneliness and aloneness are two different poles on the same pendulum. The pendulum may go from one extreme to the other throughout our lives, even at spontaneous moments this pendulum will naturally be balanced and in the middle of the two. But with a strong, persevering, and conscious will we can choose to ultimately have our balance with this pendulum and in effect feel and experience less pain and suffering. The choice is ours, we must plant the seed now if we wish to reap the fruit later.
Hello Everybody. Today I want to give a simple yet very important reminder to you all on being like our peers. Now they say there are roughly eight billion people on the planet, whether that is true or not is beside the point. You and I know that at least from experience and being in large cities there are more than enough people here in this reality. With a large population a wide selection of diverse cultures, peers, and groups are formed. Naturally, in our instincts we feel an urge to ‘fit in’ or embrace the common saying of “birds of the same feather flock together”, or however it goes. It is true, at least for the majority of society, that like attracts like and we tend to get along and are more comfortable being around people who present a similar type of being that is related to ours.
Now, when I say do not try hard to be like the others I do not mean it in a way of.. “Oh, I’m so different and better than everybody.” Or I do not intend to come off as all knowing, or “I know myself and these others do not.” For this is simply ignorant due to the truth of the ever-changing universe we live in. One cannot simply say “I know who I am one hundred percent!” Even the Buddha (enlightened one) cannot state this. Just as the universe is eternally evolving the same goes for our being. We are adaptive creatures by nature and to change with the seasons, sunsets, and sunrises is a sure way to diminish suffering.
From a young age (around grade third or fourth) I started to take notice on how I no longer felt a sense of belonging like I had in first and second grade. (Which is due to the personality being molded as kids grow older and older, before this starts to occur I believe kids get along and are more receptacle on making and meeting new friends. Kids at a young age intuitively embrace an all-accepting being towards other kids.) I went from having friends to not being able to connect to the kids the same way they connected with the other kids. In my later elementary grade school years I had one friend who was known as the kid who didn’t have any friends. I even remember not wanting to be seen with him or having other people know we were friends because of my idea-form of caring too much about what other people thought about me. This continued until my Junior year of high school. Even through middle school I still felt a sense of being disconnected from the others like me because the only two friends I had were actually a grade below me. And when you bring it to your attention now, no one in middle school embraces the fact of having friends that are in a lower grade level than them. It goes without being said, it is just “uncool”. (When brought to our attention, grade school has a way of making oneself feel superior to others due to their grade level. For the most part, this is unconsciously going through the mind of a grade school student.) This idea-form of trying to ‘fit in’ continues on through high school and even thereafter. Unconsciously grown adults still have the mentality of ‘Trying to Keep Up With The Johnsons’. For those of you who relate, we spend this whole time of our lives trying to ‘fit in’, wondering why we do not ‘fit in.’ In effect, we feel and experience separation and loneliness. This can lead one to search for an external healer, that for the most part is detrimental to our being. Fortunately for me I choose video games as my outlet and addiction. Through online gaming I was able to feel less alone. I also used gaming to get away from the world and others, I was addicted. I am grateful for not choosing hard-drugs, suicide, or other more harmful external remedies to sooth my suffering. Others may involve themselves in these experiences and to compare traumas is futile because it is the similar emotions and modes of being one experiences that matters.
While there are indeed many people who have felt and experienced this mode of separation from a young age, there are numerous amounts of people who have not. For all of you who can relate to me, when we look back at our suffering we can now see that it had to be so. For through our suffering we have gained an insight, a very powerful insight of individuality. This individuality is not to be confused with a boastful or narcissistic attitude. But rather being conscious of the fact that while we are all the same, we still have the ability to choose and embrace the multiplicity of our individualities. (This is complementary and not a contradiction) But when one only follows others and goes through the cyclical societal phases as everyone else does, life remains confusing and painful. People grow old and remain almost the same person their whole lives. People unconsciously adapt to society and the half-truth reality of existence. They will spend a lot of their time focusing on how others perceive them. It is also possible to be at the other end of the spectrum which involves one who goes around trying to be likeable by everyone. Many are tuned in socially through social media yet disconnected from their selves and their physical reality. And countless others will be okay with remaining the same. This is not surprising though, look at how we have been conditioned to believe that “People never change”. Or take notice on how society is too comfortable with keeping the same group of friends because of the false belief that to make new friends or change your peer group is ‘unreal’. This idea is subliminal and unconsciously embraced by the majority of society. Music is proof of this, observe the lyrics and song titles of Drake, one of the most popular artists in the world. Songs like ‘No New Friends’, and lyrics relating to that message are precisely expressed in his work. (That is just one example for one group of people out of many others) The majority of Society unconsciously look to the external world for guidance and Joy. If one unconsciously moves throughout their entire lives they may end up with the ‘wrong’ crowd, or they may later in life end up experiencing an existential crisis, aka mid-life crises.
What is to be done? As society becomes more conscious of their being, they will question their reality, their friends, their peers, their history, the universe, and most importantly their selves. We will come to find that this half-truth existence we now live in is truly infinite and illimitable. We cannot simply say ‘It is this” or “It is that”. For it is this and it is that and so much more all at the same time. We must not embrace our limited thought-ideas and choose to console with the part as the whole of things. We must begin by going within and establishing an intrarelationship. One will have to engage in a self-work to develop a self-vision. And through this self-vision a self-knowledge will manifest and consequently form, from which we may draw our individuality and connect to others more in line with our true-existence.
If we think deeply about traffic or negative road experiences we will come to see that it can be labeled as a determinate and revealer of suffering within an individual. A person who at that moment is suffering and or going through some sort of pain will project their being out unto others if he/she is provoked by an external event. For how can it be otherwise? People allow such minuet things to effect their lives. One lousy honk at a person driving who is suffering and they will pull beside you and maliciously stare you down while speeding off eventually with their middle finger seeable through the back window.
I will admit to you all, I use to project my anger out onto others when I would drive ALOT. They’re driving to slow? -Get mad, unnecessarily speak ill upon them for no reason, proceed to pass them up. They cut ME off? -Take it personal, get angry, and proceed to cut them back off. They pull out in slowly in front of me? -Furiously honk, speed up and pass them up while flicking them off. One day I was texting a friend of mine and she could tell through my diction that I was angry and called me out on it. I was angry, and it was all because some older lady was honking unnecessarily at me. She called me out for such behavior and said that I was being unloving. And me being ignorant and not taking responsibility for my unnecessary responses, I quickly denied her conscious advice and told myself she did not know what she was talking about. It took another experience for me to realize that I must control my negative impulses better when I am on the road. One day I was leaving class and was trying to back up out of my parking spot. This community college I went to had their parking in a multi-leveled garage so at certain times it would get very congested. Well, as I waited for a spot to clear open and back up I was not let out by some guy. My impatient self became frustrated and was looking through my back window while cursing him out and flicking him off. This guy was not having it and literally got out of his car and came up to my window screaming at me while insisting that we fight. Although I was not necessarily frightened by him, I was not angry nor reactive enough to get out of my car and physically hit him. Although I did feel an urge to want to give in and start a fight due to his proving insults, I suddenly realized that I caused the whole situation in the first place. The guy finally stopped angrily speaking to me, spat, and walked backed to his car. This event made me realize how easy it is to experience serious ‘road rage’ and how my behavior can quickly determine and trigger others pain and suffering. From that moment forward I told myself I would not be flicking random people off and be more conscious of my actions while I drive. This experience could of ended in another a whole different way if I had been a bit more impulsive and fought the man. I probably would have ended up getting arrested, shot, or even worse killed and would not be here typing this today. Life is so indeterminable and people are very impulsive. Especially people who are deeply in a temporary mode of pain and suffering. These types of people have no problem with fighting or hurting a random stranger like you and I. For people who are more sincere towards other they will still be angry and project that anger out onto the road other drivers, but they are less likely to cause a scene. If you really want to see how well someone such as a friend/ significant other can hold their composer and not let other people’s character dictate and have control over them, watch how they drive. Simple as that. There will be many happenings on the road where the driver’s inner self will be tested and their reactions will tell you a lot about them. For if a person is calm, relaxed, and well grounded how can they be moved by such ignorant actions from others. Such a person won’t even speak or think ill upon others while driving, even though there may seem reason to, their quiescent inner being will not react.
I realize now and have even taken a conscious step forward to try and not be moved by the ignorant driving of others. I will not allow my being to be controlled by another’s negative choice. It is so. We do not even realize that we lose our self for a moment and we let these unconscious drivers take control of our lives. The only true everlasting fix to this problem in society is not enforcing laws or regulations, but to get rid of the pain and the suffering at it’s core. This is on a whooooole ‘nother level of consciousness and requires much more action that just sitting here and typing. I do have faith though that it is possible, not to say when… but I know.. this is possible.
Hello everyone. Today I would like to briefly write about how many of us, (myself included) can sometimes let the wants and needs of others around us influence our decisions in life too much. There are many different variables and subjective ways to approach and conceive this reality-idea due to every person having different life existences and levels of consciousness. So.. if you can connect with what I am about to write here you already have the necessary means to adapt and change.
Lets briefly go back.. back to our ages of around one through seven years old. During this time of our childhood is when our brain and being is the most susceptible to our environment. We don’t just learn by mommy and daddy telling us not to touch the hot stove, we actually learn more by just simply watching and being around our parent(s)/guardian(s). There is a whole explanation for this but for now this can be proven if we just look at nature and a little bit of science. In nature, young animals will watch the mother animal hunt and track down their prey. The animal learns by simply being in the moment and observing the outside. And for all the materialists out there this can also be proven if you understand the basics of mirror neurons. Okay.. now that we understand that we now can come to the realization that our mind in our early childhood is almost in a hypnotic state of being. Our brain waves are literally in a set mode that makes us susceptible to outside influences. This is when our beliefs, preconceptions, and conditioning develop. And depending on our guardian(s) most us will have very limitative modes of consciousness due to the simple reality of Societal’s deep psychological programming. Now of course all of our lives are not the same and we all have different experiences of trauma and ways we adapt to this trauma determinate. Some of us may have had horrible childhoods while some have not. Either way though, it is not healthy nor beneficial to have a victim-mentality and compare traumas. For the overall feelings and emotions of our negative childhoods can be seen as equal and one in the same, just the experience varies. Sadness is felt as sadness, loneliness is felt as loneliness, insecurity is felt as insecurity. Although most of these experiences are not asked for, we do have the power to choose how we react and adapt to our past and present-moment circumstances. (This statement alone is a very powerful fact and one must understand and embody this in their being) Throughout our child-hood, teen-hood, and even into our early twenties we are told what to do. We are given morals, values, and ethics that have formed the mind we possess now. Most of us are aware of the simple rules and laws, aware of the ‘common courtesy’ ideas, and aware of the ‘rights and wrongs’. Now although of-course these idea-forms are important for a ‘ethical’ society, but they may be very deceiving to the creative individual. Society try’s to make it seem like EVERYONE wants to or should go to college, get the degree, find that perfect lover, purchase that white-picked fenced home, have that beautiful child and live happily ever after. Now to a lot of people this sounds promising, this sounds secure. But to the person who knows for themselves that life has waaaay more to offer they will question and find this forced idea confusing and limiting. For ALLLLL our lives especially our early ages we are told what to do and how to act. We begin to do and say things that we do not want to do or say, and we simultaneously do not do and say the things we truly want to say or do. Reluctance takes over our life. This in effect can create problems with our relationships with others, our jobs, careers, hobbies, free-time, and most importantly ourselves. Life becomes EVEN MORE confusing than it already is!
Let us remember today that nature-reality is not as we think it is. But in a confusing and complementary way it IS what we think it is. Truly, there are no rules here. Truly there are no laws, ethics, morals, values and other limited idea-forms here. What may seem to be justifiable in one circumstance may be completely wicked in another. For the death penalty can be given to a murderer but medals and accolades will be given to soldiers. You possess the power within to live the life you want and become the person you foresee. You set the boundaries in a boundless Universe. And only you can change your current mode of being and environment to what aligns with what you truly want at this moment. Go into the unknown, go into the delight.
Practice what you preach, the saying goes. But what really is the meaning of this phrase that many of us have heard? Most would say it means to not just talk about something are talk about a mode of being, but to actually embrace it, to live it. Most would agree it is ten times easier to think and say something to another person than to just be and let your actions do the ‘speaking’ for you. The Supreme Truth is not expressed through words, Supreme Truth is unspoken, silence; peaceful.
We all know that person or persons that constantly talk about either what they are doing in their life, what type of characteristics they believe themselves to possess, and how important their values, morals, and ethics are to them. They important word to draw our attention to in the last sentence is ‘TALK’. Many of us I’m sure have gone to these types of people for advise or are just simply having a conversation with them and when we are sitting there listening to their empty words we feel this sense of bologna. lol Aka B.S. Although what they might be saying is true to an extent we cannot help but think how the person speaking to us does not even embody what they are saying. They instead believe the lies they tell themselves. This in my opinion takes time, concentration, and a little bit of intuition to recognize. Some of us can pick it up on the spot while some of us cannot. We tend to go to the wrong people for our problems, feelings, and sufferings. We continue to absorb the information given to us by somebody who does not even themselves take in and be what they speak. For example imagine going to a poor person and asking them how to get rich. Or take for example a more serious life issue like going to someone who is constantly angry with themselves and the world and asking how to find peace. Depending on the person and their consciousness who is doing the speaking they might possibly give you sound advice. But this advice is only a partial truth, for how can a confused man truly speak and relay a message of equanimity? They simply, cannot.
I believe it is very important to embody and be as you are. Do not just say what you are, SHOW what you are! This showing what we are is not out of pride nor a self given golden pedestal we put ourself on, but instead a true force of what we are from within.
Hello everyone. Today I would like to share my opinion with all of you on the sensitive topic of ‘faking’ sadness and anxiety. Now before I began to share with you all what I have noticed over the span of a couple of years I want it to be clear that in no way am I trying to compare traumas or outright say people do not ‘authentically’ feel sad or anxious.
“Nowadays its funny cause the kids are faking sadness. But theres really nothing fun about being stuck in your room for a hundred days and a hundred nights wishing you can relate to the people outside.” This is a quote from one of my favorite artists that was said towards the end of his song, I have included it here due to it’s resonance within me and the truth of what is happening on social media. In the year of twenty-nineteen I decided to put a stop to the endless and meaningless observation of others through the social media apps of twitter, snapchat, and instagram. (I can write a blog about that another day going more in depth on what I learned and noticed after quitting social media for a year) But before I stopped observing peers through social media scrolling I noticed how there were many people on twitter who take serious problems such as sadness and anxiety and falsely exploit them. I would go down my twitter feed an notice how people are purposely wanting to feel sad or anxious. I don’t know.. it’s kind of hard to describe what I mean because I cannot sit here and write down word for word the posts that give off a sense of attention seeking behavior that derives off of this sadness and anxiety. But, on another note one can understand what I mean when we start to look at the modern day youth culture. The entertainment, artists, and even clothing designers take this very serious pain and try to make a couple bucks out of it. This in effect can subconsciously make the observer think, “Oh if I want to have that or be like that I must act like this” *Puts on Anti Social Social Club sweatshirt* The Majority of society follow others and want to be cool like the others. They imitate and act in ways that will make them belong, or at least make them THINK they belong. Now I am not saying that some of these people are not truly feeling sadness or anxiety, for they certainly can fill anxiety and sadness and post about it. But I believe there are very few people who openly express their feelings of sadness and anxiety as they are experiencing it. People who feel sadness and anxiety on a deep, dark, and suffering emotional level do not want to share that pain with others. In the moment when one truly feels and is experiencing this mode of existence they want nothing to do with others and certainly have no intention of being vulnerable online about it. From experience, when I was going through this mode of being I never expressed it to anyone. I was lonely. I was hurt. I was weak. And I could not find the courage within to let anyone know about this, because even if I did, I had at that time this false belief within that it wouldn’t solve are take it away anyways. I am only now able to express this experience because I have endured and spawned out of this false mode of existence. I have allowed myself to become grounded and more whole with nature and with myself. This takes time though, and depending on the person and their level of consciousness this can either be a sudden revampedment or a life long awaitment. And for others it may never happen because they choose not to face it for what it is.
Either way, one must know or will come to know this is only a false temporary mode of existence. And if you feel like it is forever, which it does feel like it will be ‘forever’, than I am here to tell you it is not and your are here to hear it is not so. Faith.
Hello everyone. Today I will like to share with you all a very important topic. Our truths and how are truths determine our world. Most of you here reading this know that “The world does not revolve around you.” This is a wide-known saying that many people are aware of. But if we stop for a second to ponder and question this saying we will find it to be only a partial truth that can be quite misleading..
What most people mean by saying the world does not revolve around you is that your opinion of how you perceive reality and its determinates is not the same as the guy next door, so don’t try and push your beliefs unto him. While I do agree with this at a certain level, I would more so say that I disagree. I disagree for one because most people who say this won’t even spend the time to really break down this saying and see through each word. They just hear it, learn it, and run along with its limitative message. Lets look at the key words used here; world and you. These words are very powerful and can be confusing to the mind. To truly understand the saying one must first understand the world and themselves. (That already can be scary to some as it sounds, causing them to unconsciously take what they hear and not question it ). The majority of society has their partial truths that in which they think they believe is the whole truth just because many others are in sync with it. This is a partial truth in itself because one who is aware of the ignorance knows that to follow and join the crowd is to abandon and mislead oneself. Now I am not saying I understand the world and myself one hundred percent, for that is extremely rare and probably has not yet been realized in our current timeline, but what I can say is that I know not to believe hearsay. A mindfull (not mindful) societal person is a “monkey see monkey do” type. They don’t truly question reality and even more importantly themselves. They take their preconceived, conditioned, and superficial mind and believe, “this is what must be for this is what I know.” Now I am not saying this is ‘wrong’ or ‘bad’ but it IS limiting. Our world is limitless! Our world is infinite! How we perceive the world and even more importantly ourselves matters more than what Society currently can see. (And to the extreme materialist, this is starting to emerge even more in what is know as quantum physics).
One can say that the world DOES indeed revolve around us. For if the world is limitless in potentialities and infinite in its determinates then we as human beings possess that very intrinsic nature in ourselves. We all are living our own truths which consequently effects our world. Some truths may be partial while others may be supreme, but the key thing to abide and live by is not to interfere with others free will. If more of us can be that (not just think that way) the world will in effect become more and more harmonious.
Writer’s Block. We all have at least at some point in our life experienced this mode of limitation. Most of us first experienced this blockage while we were in grade school. Teachers would present us with the most absurd and boring topics (almost purposely sometimes?) and expect us to have a page in a half done by the end of a certain time. Naturally, our mind starts to race as we sit in our chair and fiddle with our pencil..
For the longest I never felt comfortable while writing. I guess you could say it was because I would find myself sitting there with so many thoughts swarming my consciousness overwhelmingly. By the time I knew it thirty minutes had passed and I am still looking down at a blank sheet of paper while subconsciously feeling like a failure. I remember being in class during these quiet writing sessions and looking at everyone and noticing their progression as their pens swiftly moved along the paper. Now as I look back on it my mind was racing with thoughts and thinking too deep on such boring and mundane writing topics. Now I see it for what it’s true-reality is. And as far fetch as this might sound to others I would even say that public school purposely requires lessons and topics that subliminally create limitations in one’s mind. Writer’s block would naturally appear all throughout grade school for me. From elementary all the way to high school graduation. Especially in high school, where we as beginners learned how to write in a certain limitative way. “Oh have this here, mention that there, don’t forget to include this and that.” Now I understand some of this knowledge is useful in structuring and making our papers intriguable, but at the same time it poses great limitations to us and our natural ability to just let our words flow out. Teachers expect novice writers to learn and begin to write like pros. Who’s to say someone is a pro writer or an A+ writer just because they can follow a set of rules and regulations? The guy up in Harvard who writes ‘oh so etiquettely’ does so at a cost. Most of our intuitive and creative flow of writing is diminished once we start trying to conform to society’s learned way of writing.
From our structure, words, pronunciation, and even delivery. To truly write and express ourselves requires us to get into a mode of existence to where the words flow out as simply as water casting down a river. Effort through effortlessness becomes known. One will find that as soon as you drop any idea of proper writing conformities you will begin to feel this natural urge within to express. If you ask me I believe true writing does not come from the mind nor from a mind of knowledge that has been conditioned to be and think a certain way. This is why as I now write this blog and many others to come I do not put so much pressure on my mind, for natural and truth consequently manifest in my word-forms you now read.
P.S. If you have noticed I may have written some words here that some would say are not even words..but who’s to say what words are words and which words are not? That would be a whole ‘nother topic in itself.