Experiencing Death

(Pre-script: I wrote and tweeted this the another night on twitter as a thread and have taken the tweets and copied and pasted them here, This is why the format/spellings/construction appear to be as they are. I decided to share with you all here and I am open to any discussions and/or comments of yall’s experiences)

My father left this material Earth-plane from a sudden heart attack at age 47 a little over a year ago. He was rushed to the hospital where they tried to resuscitate him, it failed and he was pronounced “dead” after two hours or something like that.

By the time he was pronounced “dead” there were about 10 people or so awaiting for the news. The doctor let us go into the room to say our goodbyes to his pale motionless body.

Everyone who entered the room was in shock and crying in despair. (Try to understand, I don’t say this out of superiority..) When I entered the room I could instantly feel the low vibrations of pain and grief swarming me.

Instead of allowing these emotions to enter and take power over me I remained calm and peaceful and proceeded to go over to his side and give him a kiss upon his forehead.

The whole time I was waiting in the waiting room and also while being in the room after he was pronounced “dead” I had not shed one tear. This was not due to lack of empathy but more so a feeling of inner-knowing, which I can’t put into words, that everything was okay.

I did not spend much of my time near his body for I knew his consciousness was no longer entangled with it. Not only could I sense it but also if you look at a corpse that you have seen “alive” your whole life you notice a drastic difference.

Although I was not close to his unconscious body I stayed in and around the room. Everyone’s vibrations in and around the room we’re low except mine. I still embodied a sense of calm and peace within naturally.

When someone is pronounced “dead” they’re physical body is unconscious yes, but their consciousness is still in this realm but just on a different plane. Which brings me to my next point, which is most people who are about to “pass away” say, ‘be strong, it will be okay, don’t cry’

There must be a reason for this? Perhaps once one leaves their physical body their consciousness is still in this realm and if there are a bunch of people around the body in a low vibrational grieving state..

It makes the transition of the consciousness more difficult due to the low vibrations emitting from the grieving people in the area. It’s proven our emotions and thoughts emit forces/frequencies.

So intuitively I remained calm that way his consciousness wouldn’t be engulfed by only low frequencies of pain and suffering. By allowing my being not to succumb to these lower states of consciousness, my fathers spirit-consciousness had a more comfortable place to observe..

My aura was possibly the space where his spirit-consciousness was attracted to that day. And it possibly made his transition more comfortable.

Of course I was not able to keep away the forces of pain, grief, and suffering and later cried all night in bed thinking about all of the moments and conversations we were not able to share in this life-moment.

But what I felt that day was an unexpected calmness and peace. For I knew from within that everything was okay. And to anyone going through any form of grief, just know that no matter what at the end of the day our ‘passed’ loved ones are always with us.

On this physical-plane and to our physical minds it may not seem so but our spirit-consciousness knows otherwise. True-Life is eternal, True-life is harmonious.

The Divine Masculine and The Divine Feminine

The Divine Masculine and The Divine Feminine

Hello everyone. Today I write to you all to explain how a misunderstanding of the Divine Masculine and the Divine Feminine within all of us is one of the many major causes to society’s suffering. Both to oneself and other-selfs.

It is not the Pure Divine Masculine and Pure Divine Feminine within and without that is causing confusion, pain, and suffering in this world. It is the individual and societal’s misconceptions, conditionings, stereotypes, ignorances, and limitations that have caused man and woman to live a life of confusion and suffering. Men, for instance, have been told it is not okay, or it is not tough, to do this or that because it is seen as weak and suspect. These idea-forms and teachings often come from one’s parents or guardians and have been instilled in them from their early child-hood. Teachings such as boys don’t cry, or it is weak for one to be or even show fragility and vulnerability to yourself yet others. This has lead many Men here in the west to form false-personalities that often consist of tough guy mentality and or unacknowledged feelings and emotions. Living life with this false perception leads one more likely to encounter unnecessary confusion and pain. It is no wonder why women throughout history have been seen as less incompetent and inferior. Women scare men and their egotistical view-points they have on their self and the reality of their world. Our history and generational cycles of our parents, and their parents parents etc. etc. have held on to many false beliefs and in effect have led men to be less connected to their true Divine Feminine side. The woman has had less idea-forms imposed on her which in effect has left them with a being that is more Pure and Whole. Although not completely in union with the Divine Masculine and Divine Feminine, they have a being that has not been so contrived and falsely altered. On the other hand, the woman has been misguided in regards to her True-Divine Masculine and True-Divine Feminine. Many women today often struggle as well with doing and saying things that may seem to the self and other-selves as masculine. History and the generations throughout have led society to believe in false idea-forms that a woman should abide by. A woman is than often ridiculed for doing, thinking, or feeling in ways that do not succumb to ‘lady-like’ behavior; yet when men mirror these exact behaviors they are not met with the overbearing projections of the other. This half-truth, false, or misunderstood ideas (or even a complete ignorance) of the Divine Feminine and Divine Masculine are causing people to look for answers in the outside external material reality. Humanity is rapidly evolving; materially, spiritually, and consciously. For both man and woman it is now evident people are trying to make sense of the misunderstood Divine Masculine and Feminine. This is evident in today’s gender norms and transphobic ideas. There has been a major increase in woman and man who have come to see their selves as either gay, lesbian, and/or bi-sexual. Compare the number of homosexuals there are today to how many there were one-hundred years ago. The increase is definite and sudden. Especially within the past decade there has been a rather sudden increase of people becoming transexual as well. The modern western materialist and their half-truth beliefs of the self and nature of our world have led them to look to external remedies such as opposite wardrobe appearances, plastic surgery, and or sex changes. These other-selves are misunderstood greatly in society, especially by men who embody this false idea of exaggerated masculinity. Unfortunately these misunderstood people suffer greatly from the ignorance in others and are often seen as weird and undivine. Obviously this is not the case at all, for the majority of society live a confused life and this is just their way of trying to understand their individual selves in this world of falsehood.

The faith in the one and the individual is increasing ever so greatly. This is evident for I have explained so in the end of the last paragraph above. If the human consciousness was not rising and searching for the Supreme than we would not be seeing the drastic change in people’s sexuality and gender-representations. This is only one example of how people are going against the false and partial-truths society has setup for us. The man and woman who look for external truths or remedies to make thyself whole may come to a temporary happiness. But in due time one will realize there is still something missing and to which they are in need of. It is not until they go within and discover the Divine spark that has quietly been there for eternity. This Divine spark is the one yet infinite being in everything and everyone. The Pure Supreme Divine masculine and feminine energy becomes understood and one here. The self, other-selfs, and nature can now be embraced and fulfilled. The lurking peace and equilibrium that the mind and materialist being denies is now forefront. This is knowledge.. this is Truth. <3

The Natural Glow Within

There is a natural glow within us that radiates and pours out to which our surface physical being shows.

The evening of my father’s death I experienced and realized this. For my whole life I never realized just how beautiful my father was until I saw his pale lifeless body lying on the hospital bed. While I was so accustomed and at the same time unaware of his body glow underneath the sun, it was now presenting its self to me as grey and dark. While all of my family around me wept and grieved I remained calm and still inside for I knew he needed at least some type of peaceful vibration to feel as his eternal consciousness departed from his body. This was not something I thought to do but rather I intuitively and sincerely felt within. I knew deep down that he was okay and if I were to feel lower states of consciousness such as sadness at this moment of his death it would make his transition more difficult to partake in.

My father was forty eight when he passed onwards. A massive and sudden heart attack was the cause. I could write about him for days but all words would be useless for his spirit-consciousness is absolute and eternal. No mind..no man.. on this planet can translate something so divine into words.

The Futile Dramatic

The Futile Dramatic

Hello everyone. Today I would like to share a perception on drama. I feel that drama is a subject that is commonly spoken about among peer groups in our society. Very much so that to the point it is normal and if one wants to get rid of conversing with people who speak down upon others they will most likely find that damn near everyone around them partakes in this type of communication. This is embedded in our society to the point we don’t even realize it is going on because we have become so numb to it. Ask yourself, out of eeeeeeverything to talk about why is it that people love to talk down upon others and things?

Just to be clear if I were to explain what the word drama expresses I would say that drama is in form of communication between one and another that is precisely focused on bringing up the ‘bad’ in the other person, place, event, or thing. I’m not saying that all people who speak ‘bad’ or negative are partaking in drama-driven communication, for such conversations can be had without the ‘draining’ effect. Now this is hard to put in words because one has to be experiencing the drama-driven conversation to know what I am trying to express with these words I type now. It is the tone, the vibrations, the attitude that one holds within them and also sends out at the same time that signifies that conversation is drama-driven. The reason why this cannot be put into words so easily is because it is more felt by our being rather than absorbed by the analytical mind. Most people will understand what I mean by this though because we have all been in these type of conversations. It is often the energy and force one puts behind their words that makes the conversation feel draining. One sign that you can tell if the conversation is drama-driven is the person speaking will often embody an alternate low-state of being as they are speaking about the the past person, place, or thing. For instance if one is speaking about an event and person that caused them to become frustrated they will now be frustrated right at the table with you as they tell you the story. Depending on the person who is listening to the story they might not even pick up on this because they are focused on the words and cannont feel the deeper reality behind said words. It is as if their body is ‘numb’ to such feelings. But just because one may not be able to feel or notice the unspoken vibrations behind the words that does not mean they are not effected by it. They still very much so are.

Drama is self-degrading. Without even realizing it when one is holding the drama-driven conversation they think they are only speaking bad upon the other but in reality they are unconsciously portraying their self. While there are many reasons as to why people like to have drama-driven conversations, I would say that one of the main reasons why so many people have this type of conversation is because it makes the person who is speaking ‘badly’ upon the other feel a false and illusive feeling of superiority. This is in the subconscious and if it were to be put into words it would state something along the lines of ‘hey, look at how bad this person/thing is…I am not that, I do not do this, but look they are doing it!’ This goes on without being said and is in the subconscious. And of course the person who dwells in drama will not admit our at least even bring their attention to this. It is similar and to some aspect related to the unhealthy habit of always comparing yourself to others. For one who often has drama-driven conversations has problems with negative Comparison as well. This is a whole ‘nother topic on its own. And for now I will not go into the deeper understandings of Comparison.

Do not get me wrong, I am in no way exempt and a saint of drama-driven conversations. I have had my fair share of it just like everyone else has. It wasn’t until I drew my attention and concentration to what it was that I was doing and looking at it from a different and deeper perspective. As I said in the beginning, when one does this sincerely they will start to notice just how widely socially-acceptable this behavior is. And from there they will see alllll the people around them that unconsciously partake in this low state of behavior. If one wants to truly remove drama from their life they must draw their attention to it when it starts to come up. They must draw themselves away from people who partake in this behavior or at least bring to their attention the more true reality of what they are spending their energy on. Some might say I am being over exaggerative or that it is not that serious. But it must be so, and not because I say so but take a step back and look at the reality of it. We will find that it is often our closest friends and family that ‘speak’ of drama. And this drama-driven behavior is often the cause to many family problems and suffering. Whether what is being said is true or not drama is in no way helpful to anyone or anything. It can even at times cause physical, emotional, and mental violence… And people wonder why so and so ‘hate’ them. Or they wonder why their friends and family don’t seem to get along. Little things like drama-driven conversation can go a long way and effect our reality in ways we thought were not even possible. Quitting the act of drama-driven conversation starts with our selves and takes time to develop. But the more and more one sincerely approaches and becomes aware of this behavior they will start to get rid of it all together. This is not as easy as it sounds though for if you change yourself and want to start participating in less drama-driven conversations you will find that the people around you who do not admit to this faulty will give you backlash. Which in effect might cause a loss of some relationships you have with others, depending on the plane of consciousness the other possesses and how receptive they are. This is why many don’t think its “That Serious”. One cannot say what will happen with your current relationships because it is simply unknown and the possibilities are endless. But one thing you can be certain of is that you yourself will start to notice the change within, and this change within will lighten you..will bring more of a peaceful sense to you and yours.

Sincerely Observing Oneself

Sincerely Observing Oneself

Have you ever caught yourself thinking about who you were, who you are, and who will you be? This can be a scary and deep question to some because once you start thinking about oneself like this it can almost be certain that your mind and your emotions will be led usually down a dark alley with all the negative experiences, thoughts, and emotions one has dealt with or may come to deal with. But the plane of consciousness each individual is at also plays a part in how they react when faced with these unknown questions. If one does not sincerely observe themselves they would say I am pessimistic and should be more positive. These are the by-passers that have the partial truth and falsehood idea of ‘think positive be positive’, ‘think rich grow rich’, ‘all is one, love and light.’ This is one extreme end of the pendulum; the other extreme end would be ‘I am useless’ ‘There is nothing good about me’ ‘I am a failure’. Either way you look at yourself you will find that in both of these responses one is expressing a half truth and being insincere. “I am the greatest person alive.” “I am the stupidest person alive”. Each statement obviously comes from two different people but with different planes of consciousness and both idea-forms will have its effects and consequences. A sincerer approach to these questions would be for one to reconcile and bring their attention to both sides of the pendulum, and working to establish an equilibrium between the two opposite ends. Overall though, one must realize that no matter which approach is taken it is in its own way objective and relatively true. One must not say, “It is this!” “It is that!” For all in itself is absolutely necessary, otherwise there would be no multiplicity of individualistic expression in this infinite existence.



Hello everybody. Today I am expressing and continuing the topic of loneliness. Loneliness is such a wide experience to discuss and many ideas and sub-topics can be branched off from it. I have been noticing and experiencing this myself lately and I am sure that many of you have as well. As I fluidly write this article my intention is not for others to sympathize or to receive condolences. For these are just superficial and ‘normal’ responses one receives from others and ultimately barely even scratches the surface of the ‘problem.’ Instead, I intend to write to better understand these thoughts and emotions that have manifested in effect due to loneliness. (and not only for my understanding but for others to understand the same feeling they are experiencing themselves) Also as we bring our attention and concentration to this experience of loneliness we are temporarily feeling, we can in effect through our free-will choose to form idea-forms that are more aligned with benevolence and onward progression.

Understanding and bringing our attention to loneliness. One of the toughest part of experiencing loneliness has to probably be the person trying to understand this feeling. Some of the key points we must understand is that loneliness and the cause of it is not a ‘one size fits all’. The severity and happenings are innumerable and one must not compare their circumstances to the other for this will only result in more confusion. It is important to realize the feeling of loneliness one feels is the same as others, but the reaction and natural impulse one puts out is determined by their level of consciousness. For instance, I have felt and experienced loneliness many times throughout my life. While some experiences may root from the same cause, there are also other happenings that we have never gone through that result in this feeling of loneliness. It is often more than not the uncontrollable rather than the controllable that makes us feel this way; more on this later. Another point to understand is that the level of consciousness one possesses at the time of the experience is very detrimental to the effect it has on them. Through our own choice we ourselves have the power to either consciously or unconsciously react to this happening. We can consciously or unconsciously choose to bring our attention and concentration to the problem or not. If we consciously choose to bring our attention and concentration to this feeling we in result work towards self-progression and realization instead of ignoring and bottling up the experience and emotion. As I said, depending on the consciousness of the person, choosing to consciously face the feeling and experience is just the beginning. In effect, idea-forms are than created by the individual (some idea-forms are actually not created from the individual, and instead reside and come from the collective idea-forms of society. This is not yet realized or one should say mainstream in modern psychology or by the modern psychologist. For the reader or psychologist to understand how this is even possible requires a ton of explanation and experience. Most importantly direct experience is required for the being, the self-limiting mind along with its finite dialogue more often than not results in denial when this topic is addressed. This will not always be, as we evolve and move forward through time both individually and collectively more people will broaden their perceptions) and more often than not when someone is choosing for the first time to consciously understand this temporal mode of existence they will create self-defeating ideas rather than forward progressive thoughts. Some may choose to blame themselves while another may choose to blame others. Both reactions are of no real help, instead one must tell themselves “It is my responsibility to focus my awareness and try to understand this experience I am temporarily going through.” (that alone requires a strong will and a sincere aspiring attitude for progression) This brings us back to what I am still further explaining on what attitude one chooses to respond with. Just like the causes that led to this experience of loneliness, there are no set or certain happenings that can determine the attitude one will react with. Our attitudes are simply indeterminable and infinite. Our attitudes are mostly drawn and a result from our past traumas, wounds, triggers, shadows, and misleading childhood thought-forms. Once again, these traumas and wounds and etc. vary from person to person and in their nature, are subjective and unlimited. (DO NOT allow yourself to take the words of someone who states, “I had it worse” or “That is not a ‘good’ reason to be lonely” seriously)

Attitude. The person going through and consciously choosing to go through loneliness for the first time will more often than not react and possess a negative attitude compared to the person who has consciously chosen many of times to bring their concentration to the feeling. If I were to imagine or try and understand one of the causes of this, I would say that the current “Positive Mindset Only, Think Happy Be Happy, Positive Vibes Only” you know the basic idea that one should think positive only and everything will eventually be okay idea? Yeaaa, that. This idea-form is very misleading and mis-informative. (one can say it is so widely spread that it has transformed into a false and deceiving characteristic some people use to label their self as) Even though this idea-form is so widely spread and agreed upon through many books, authors, teachers, and solutions that does not necessarily make it ‘right’ or ‘true’. Do not get me wrong, if I were faced with the choice to choose positivity or negativity I would choose optimism. But the laws of nature and the universe is not objective to either or. Even the idea of calling oneself a ‘realist’ is misleading due to the simple fact of setting limits on the limitless. It is conformity which makes one believe and spread this half-truth idea-form. This new-age positivity coping mechanism is also used as a bypass which results in no actual real and lasting integral progression. It may temporarily solve the issue but in reality, one will eventually come back to the same level of consciousness. Once someone has had “enough” they will realize how misleading and unconscious society is. For the people who are reading and want more of a sincere and aspiring progression that is more aligned with our true-self a raise in consciousness is required. One must heighten and broaden their consciousness to understand the experience. This requires a conscious will that approaches the problem from all imaginable sides. To form an idea based on multiplicity and equilibrium rather than choosing to look at the problem as society does which is in a fragmentative matter. Positivity is only one solution out of many, choosing to address and perceive the problem from different angles is much more fruitful. This leads to the attitude of going into what society address as negativity, our shadows, traumas, wounds, past conditionings and habits. All of which that make us who we are (or at least who we THINK we are). But in effect one comes to find that if you consciously choose to attain this attitude it can ‘open up a whole ‘nother can of worms’. Choosing to respond with an attitude that is more aligned with reality and our true-self requires oneself to enter an unknown and uncomfortable reality. This is tough on some people because as they are already experiencing one undesirable emotion they now start to feel many others.  (and again… in effect people will instead choose to choose comfort over progression and disregard the true solution to their ‘problem’) What I noticed through experience was that there are numerous other problems and feelings that may arise when you try to understand one feeling. This is very uncomfortable and in no way ‘fun’. I understand why so many people in society are interested in superficial things such as consumerism, sports, social media, TV, (many people say they do not watch TV while unaware that it is 2021 and the TV is now in your hand and backpocket) anything in our physical world that distracts our mental and emotional self from being with its self. People are concerned with everything going on outside of them rather than taking that focus and concentrating on what is happening inside of them. At the current moment this is ‘normal’ though, but with the current events that have been taking place more people are raising their consciousness.

Currently, I myself am experiencing this feeling of loneliness again. I have noticed this feeling trying to ‘take me’. Although the experience is not new to me, I can say due to the decisions that I have consciously made I have put myself in this situation. I am realizing that some experiences in life are part of the indeterminable while some are a part of the determinable. (Uncontrollable and controllable) This experience is a little different than the others in my past because I choose to be with no one but myself and I continue to choose to stay to myself. (This is very similar to my past-self) I do not consciously make these decisions out of ignorance and think to myself that I am better than everyone, nor do I go to the extreme at the other end of the spectrum which would be me thinking “I am not like the others no one understands me”. This may sound contradicting to some but to the ones who can relate will understand what I mean for words will not allow the mind to truly grasp what I am stating. I simply am in a temporary moment of my life again where I do not have a person to connect with on this physical plane. I am conscious of this and I am okay with this, for I know this is only temporary and the time will come naturally when it is right and I will have people around me who I can relate and connect with on a more true-level. As I was saying earlier, even though I feel lonely I have a will and a consciousness power that if I use correctly I can have it work with me rather than against me. I am able to choose how I am going to feel and perceive the circumstances I am currently going through. I started out nothing like this though, I use to fall.. and when I would fall I would kick my own self while I was down hard.. very hard.  This is important for those of you who are reading and are currently feeling more ‘down’ than ‘up’. While many people would agree and easily say “Things will get better”, this is true but only a partial or half-truth. Things do get better but due to the cyclical nature of the world and the universal laws, ‘things’ will come back to being what one perceives as ‘bad’. (this is not a logical reason to not want to put in the work to understand oneself and how thyself can effectively make their lives more fruitful) I will express this again.. I am not being negative or pessimistic. I write with sincerity and truthfulness to the readers because I care about people making real change. I can easily say and conform to what society has as its standards but I choose not to. Take a second to look at the world from natures point of view, the seasons change, the breeze comes and goes, the leaves fall, the sun rises and sets, our nature is cyclical and we are no different than that just because we have a brain and walk in a way that appears to be separate from the ground. As they say.. There IS a light at the end of the tunnel, but what they forget to mention is that this light does temporarily tend to, ‘flicker and go out at times’, but that does not change the fact that the light is always there. Another way I like to think of us as is that we are walking through this forest called life, eventually the sun will set and we will have no other option but to walk through the forest at night, this is scary, this is uncomfortable, but this is also only temporary because as time goes on dusk will turn to dawn and the sun will rise once again and on we go in this cyclical manner never forgetting that the Sun is and always will be there.

Aloneness and Loneliness

Aloneness and Loneliness

According to a study done by experts at Harvard University, more than 5.34 million people are experiencing loneliness RIGHT NOW. (Now some will read that and take it what it is for and run off and repeat it without question. Others, will question the statement and think well how can they be so sure about that) Congrats to the second group of people who have learned not to be so gullible when it comes to reading news or ‘statistics’ lol because I totally just made that number and study up. I don’t have to be an expert NOR do I have to attend “Harvard University” to not only infer but intuitively know that loneliness is one mode of suffering that many people experience. So many things can be said about loneliness and it can easily branch off into other subtopics, but for today I would like to share my perception on loneliness and aloneness.

Loneliness and aloneness are known as synonyms, and if you look up the definitions they will most likely state the same thing. For this moment though I’d like you all to try and think of them as opposites to each other. Or even a better word to describe them, Aloneness is Complementary to loneliness. Loneliness. Most of us can first handedly describe and share what it is like to be lonely. For loneliness is experienced by tons of people and this direct experience itself makes us truthfully KNOW what loneliness is without thinking about it intellectually and using our mind-instrument to describe it. I refer to loneliness here as its more known meaning which is a temporary mode of suffering and pain, a negative emotion, and what most people consider an undesirable experience. Loneliness can be perceived in many different ways and can vary in severity depending on the consciousness of the person experiencing it; there is no one size fits all. In times like now especially more than usual, people are experiencing loneliness, even though detrimental external events are bound to cause loneliness to people we still come to the fact that loneliness has been around far before the present and recent past happenings. Why is something that is not only widely known by the mind but experienced directly by millions and millions of people hardly ever spoken about? Why do people in group conversations like to make boring superficial talk about their accolades and ‘plans’ at restaurant dinner tables? Why is our society based off how much we have rather than how much we give? One can even assume and question the fact that most “Friends” (Convos between you and one other) do not touch upon important topics such as loneliness when they talk to each other. Loneliness can invoke feelings of vulnerability, (which many people have a false perception of this feeling) can make one feel insecure, (everyone/the majority possess to some degree or less a level of insecurity) and can have one feeling like he/she is in an unknown space and very uncomfortable empty abys. Loneliness can have one thinking such detrimental thoughts such as “why am I such a ‘loser’’, “there is something ‘wrong’ with me”, “I am not ‘normal’ why can’t I be like the others.” Feelings and though-forms such as those said unconsciously smother the person who consciously perceive and notice this feeling of loneliness. For the people who do not feel or think in this type of way are for the most part not facing their feelings and thoughts for what they are and instead find external stimuli to avert their concentration and attention to. This is a whole ‘nother topic in itself and is very harmful to the well-being of a person. Said persons and the large-sum of people who react in this way will most likely keep responding in this unconscious/unhealthy way their whole lives. Now for the others that not only feel this loneliness but courageously (at the moment one has no idea they are reacting in a more courageous way) draw their concentration to it, problems inevitably start to rise due to the unconscious/ignorant idea-forms one has of this reality we call the universe and of themselves. This world is built and ran off of falsehood, so for one to judge and conform yourself to society and your immediate peers is not necessarily ‘wrong’ or ‘bad’, but perhaps not aligned with your potential true-self.

Loneliness can be felt by one who is either in their room by themselves or in a crowded market area. Both scenarios have the same core feeling of being separated from others and themselves. I have felt different planes of loneliness throughout my life. Some are easier to describe and put into words while other levels of loneliness are too draining to even put into an idea or written statement for one to comprehend what it must be like. (Many will understand what I mean by this if the experience is known) I use to have this overwhelmingly feeling of loneliness all while pretending everything was okay. I would feel so separated internally that I naturally started to exist externally in the same way. From moments of locking myself up in my bedroom and not leaving the house all summer to locking myself in the restroom stall in school during lunch break. From other moments of walking down the halls with nowhere else to go and no one else to see but my next scheduled class and teacher, to walking with my family and still feeling this emotion of separateness. I always over-thought that… did anyone else? I always over-thought and questioned my showing up early or being the first to enter class in high school. I would think to myself useless things such as ‘you don’t want to be seen always going into class early and or being the first one, people will think you are lame’. I observed that, and some people can relate to this and can take notice that mostly all the kids in between passing time for class are mingling with other friends and don’t usually go straight to class. For the majority of high school, I never had friends to speak to on my way to class or spend extra time to go and see before the bell rang. Despite that, I would make it seem like I did and would sometimes just walk around aimlessly to kill time so I could be like the others. I would think too deeply about my circumstance, and obviously this over-thinking was in no way benefiting me. I have briefly described here some instances and happenings in my life relating to loneliness strictly to give the reader who may be experiencing or has experienced loneliness something to relate to. Perhaps the truth is that many people experience loneliness, it’s just very few express this to others who aren’t ‘close’ to them. And if I were asked why is that so I would have to reply with I do not know… for to even began thinking about or writing about that statement is a whole ‘nother article in itself. There are many causes, experiences, events and catalyst that can be said about why people do not openly express true feelings, thoughts, and desires.

Now, as I said earlier… I believe loneliness is only a temporary mode of existence. (It is in a way an illusion, I use the word illusion here in meaning of not belonging to the supreme reality and truth of our nature, but with that being said this illusion is still very real) And I can now say as well, loneliness is a great teacher. I understand it is difficult for one who is directly experiencing this feeling to even consider that but in due time one may come to this realization if they consciously choose to, in due time. The same way one got themselves in this state of loneliness whether that be unconsciously or consciously, one must use their will to get themselves out. Once again, this free-will can be strong or weak, conscious or unconscious, concentrated or ignorant. There are innumerable ways to get out this mode we call loneliness. Some ways may be more or less beneficial to the being while other ways may temporarily solve the issue but in the long-term still existing in a dark corner of one’s being. If one is to consciously solve their feeling of isolation and separateness than one must begin by willfully thinking and concentrating on the reality of things and our existence. Things such as in the ‘beginning’ we came into this world alone and in the ‘end’ we have no other choice but to ‘leave’ alone. Observe nature, even nature seems to us to be connected more than we are. The trees are still… rooted, grounded, and connected to the earth while we walk along this world not confined to anyone or anything, seemingly and illusively separate from our nature. But this is not so, our sense-vision is deceiving to us and if we fail to understand the higher reality of our self and nature we will only continue to endure suffering and pain in moments where one can choose not to. Everything and everyone seems separate from us but in reality, we are all interconnected. The animal gives and receives to the plant while the plant receives and gives to the animal. There is a natural give and receive relationship in this existence. What seems like loneliness is a misconceived and false perception of the truth-existence of our aloneness. Now I speak of aloneness here in a way of truth, positivity, delight, and calmness. If one wants to solve their problem of loneliness at its roots than one must go into this aloneness. This seems contradicting but it is far from that, by going into our aloneness and realizing the inner self and doing the inner work that must be done one consequently comes out of this draining mode of loneliness. Now of course this is not the only way to realize and get oneself out of this feeling. Reason and thought can also be used to heal oneself. In this way, the mind is more involved and relied upon. One uses reason to develop idea-forms to present to themselves and in effect change their perception of their current reality. While this can solve the problem of loneliness temporarily it still only scratches the surface. For the mind is an instrument used for our will. The mind is incapable of understanding the infinite and unlimited existence in everything and everyone. The mind is for memory and not where true-knowledge exists. I consciously choose to realize the other perception of loneliness which I refer to here as aloneness. Do not get me wrong though, it took me years and constant battles with my mind ego to realize a more aligned perception of my aloneness. Before I tried using my mind, ego, and other external stimuli to solve my issue. But I don’t know.. during those moments I just felt like something was still missing. There was still something inside of me that was lingering behind. When I started to choose a different perception of loneliness and not only think of it but feel it in a more beneficial way, I noticed other parts of my being were being effected as well. Aloneness is a beautiful thing really; in time of despair aloneness is mistaken for a falsehood of negativity. In reality aloneness is necessary for one who consciously chooses to fix their issues at their roots. Take for example, the couple who always spends time together. They hardly ever are seen apart and in need of always having each other by their sides. While this can temporarily not be an issue, in the long-term it begins to have an effect. Without one even noticing or realizing it they become tired and bored of what seems to be the same presence of their significant other. They start to think they ‘know’ each other, they start to take each other for granted, they don’t pick up on the lovely little things that are changing without and within each other. They have unconsciously sacrificed aloneness and the teachings it comes with to avoid feelings of loneliness in their relationship. Whether one consciously chooses to be alone or one unconsciously chooses to be lonely, what can be said about both is that they are extremely valuable teachers and many lessons can be learned through these experiences.

Loneliness and aloneness are one of the greatest teachers of life. Mostly everyone, if not everyone, will go through this experience. We have a choice to consciously or unconsciously take this lesson and attain as much knowledge out of it as we can. No matter what the determinate or cause of this feeling is, what matters is that the feeling is there and equal to all. Loneliness does not pick and choose based off of external characteristics like race, gender, age, or marital status. Loneliness is a part of this world and in order for us to accommodate to it we must establish in our true-being an equilibrium within. We must understand that loneliness and aloneness are two different poles on the same pendulum. The pendulum may go from one extreme to the other throughout our lives, even at spontaneous moments this pendulum will naturally be balanced and in the middle of the two. But with a strong, persevering, and conscious will we can choose to ultimately have our balance with this pendulum and in effect feel and experience less pain and suffering. The choice is ours, we must plant the seed now if we wish to reap the fruit later.

Please…Do Not Try Hard to be Like The Others

Please…Do Not Try Hard to be Like The Others

Hello Everybody. Today I want to give a simple yet very important reminder to you all on being like our peers. Now they say there are roughly eight billion people on the planet, whether that is true or not is beside the point. You and I know that at least from experience and being in large cities there are more than enough people here in this reality. With a large population a wide selection of diverse cultures, peers, and groups are formed. Naturally, in our instincts we feel an urge to ‘fit in’ or embrace the common saying of “birds of the same feather flock together”, or however it goes. It is true, at least for the majority of society, that like attracts like and we tend to get along and are more comfortable being around people who present a similar type of being that is related to ours.

Now, when I say do not try hard to be like the others I do not mean it in a way of.. “Oh, I’m so different and better than everybody.” Or I do not intend to come off as all knowing, or “I know myself and these others do not.” For this is simply ignorant due to the truth of the ever-changing universe we live in. One cannot simply say “I know who I am one hundred percent!” Even the Buddha (enlightened one) cannot state this. Just as the universe is eternally evolving the same goes for our being. We are adaptive creatures by nature and to change with the seasons, sunsets, and sunrises is a sure way to diminish suffering.

From a young age (around grade third or fourth) I started to take notice on how I no longer felt a sense of belonging like I had in first and second grade. (Which is due to the personality being molded as kids grow older and older, before this starts to occur I believe kids get along and are more receptacle on making and meeting new friends. Kids at a young age intuitively embrace an all-accepting being towards other kids.) I went from having friends to not being able to connect to the kids the same way they connected with the other kids. In my later elementary grade school years I had one friend who was known as the kid who didn’t have any friends. I even remember not wanting to be seen with him or having other people know we were friends because of my idea-form of caring too much about what other people thought about me. This continued until my Junior year of high school. Even through middle school I still felt a sense of being disconnected from the others like me because the only two friends I had were actually a grade below me. And when you bring it to your attention now, no one in middle school embraces the fact of having friends that are in a lower grade level than them. It goes without being said, it is just “uncool”. (When brought to our attention, grade school has a way of making oneself feel superior to others due to their grade level. For the most part, this is unconsciously going through the mind of a grade school student.) This idea-form of trying to ‘fit in’ continues on through high school and even thereafter. Unconsciously grown adults still have the mentality of ‘Trying to Keep Up With The Johnsons’. For those of you who relate, we spend this whole time of our lives trying to ‘fit in’, wondering why we do not ‘fit in.’ In effect, we feel and experience separation and loneliness. This can lead one to search for an external healer, that for the most part is detrimental to our being. Fortunately for me I choose video games as my outlet and addiction. Through online gaming I was able to feel less alone. I also used gaming to get away from the world and others, I was addicted. I am grateful for not choosing hard-drugs, suicide, or other more harmful external remedies to sooth my suffering. Others may involve themselves in these experiences and to compare traumas is futile because it is the similar emotions and modes of being one experiences that matters.  

While there are indeed many people who have felt and experienced this mode of separation from a young age, there are numerous amounts of people who have not. For all of you who can relate to me, when we look back at our suffering we can now see that it had to be so. For through our suffering we have gained an insight, a very powerful insight of individuality. This individuality is not to be confused with a boastful or narcissistic attitude. But rather being conscious of the fact that while we are all the same, we still have the ability to choose and embrace the multiplicity of our individualities. (This is complementary and not a contradiction) But when one only follows others and goes through the cyclical societal phases as everyone else does, life remains confusing and painful. People grow old and remain almost the same person their whole lives. People unconsciously adapt to society and the half-truth reality of existence. They will spend a lot of their time focusing on how others perceive them. It is also possible to be at the other end of the spectrum which involves one who goes around trying to be likeable by everyone. Many are tuned in socially through social media yet disconnected from their selves and their physical reality. And countless others will be okay with remaining the same. This is not surprising though, look at how we have been conditioned to believe that “People never change”. Or take notice on how society is too comfortable with keeping the same group of friends because of the false belief that to make new friends or change your peer group is ‘unreal’. This idea is subliminal and unconsciously embraced by the majority of society. Music is proof of this, observe the lyrics and song titles of Drake, one of the most popular artists in the world. Songs like ‘No New Friends’, and lyrics relating to that message are precisely expressed in his work. (That is just one example for one group of people out of many others) The majority of Society unconsciously look to the external world for guidance and Joy. If one unconsciously moves throughout their entire lives they may end up with the ‘wrong’ crowd, or they may later in life end up experiencing an existential crisis, aka mid-life crises.

What is to be done? As society becomes more conscious of their being, they will question their reality, their friends, their peers, their history, the universe, and most importantly their selves. We will come to find that this half-truth existence we now live in is truly infinite and illimitable. We cannot simply say ‘It is this” or “It is that”. For it is this and it is that and so much more all at the same time. We must not embrace our limited thought-ideas and choose to console with the part as the whole of things. We must begin by going within and establishing an intrarelationship. One will have to engage in a self-work to develop a self-vision. And through this self-vision a self-knowledge will manifest and consequently form, from which we may draw our individuality and connect to others more in line with our true-existence.

How Simple Tasks Like Driving Affect Our Well-Being

If we think deeply about traffic or negative road experiences we will come to see that it can be labeled as a determinate and revealer of suffering within an individual. A person who at that moment is suffering and or going through some sort of pain will project their being out unto others if he/she is provoked by an external event. For how can it be otherwise? People allow such minuet things to effect their lives. One lousy honk at a person driving who is suffering and they will pull beside you and maliciously stare you down while speeding off eventually with their middle finger seeable through the back window.

I will admit to you all, I use to project my anger out onto others when I would drive ALOT. They’re driving to slow? -Get mad, unnecessarily speak ill upon them for no reason, proceed to pass them up. They cut ME off? -Take it personal, get angry, and proceed to cut them back off. They pull out in slowly in front of me? -Furiously honk, speed up and pass them up while flicking them off. One day I was texting a friend of mine and she could tell through my diction that I was angry and called me out on it. I was angry, and it was all because some older lady was honking unnecessarily at me. She called me out for such behavior and said that I was being unloving. And me being ignorant and not taking responsibility for my unnecessary responses, I quickly denied her conscious advice and told myself she did not know what she was talking about. It took another experience for me to realize that I must control my negative impulses better when I am on the road. One day I was leaving class and was trying to back up out of my parking spot. This community college I went to had their parking in a multi-leveled garage so at certain times it would get very congested. Well, as I waited for a spot to clear open and back up I was not let out by some guy. My impatient self became frustrated and was looking through my back window while cursing him out and flicking him off. This guy was not having it and literally got out of his car and came up to my window screaming at me while insisting that we fight. Although I was not necessarily frightened by him, I was not angry nor reactive enough to get out of my car and physically hit him. Although I did feel an urge to want to give in and start a fight due to his proving insults, I suddenly realized that I caused the whole situation in the first place. The guy finally stopped angrily speaking to me, spat, and walked backed to his car. This event made me realize how easy it is to experience serious ‘road rage’ and how my behavior can quickly determine and trigger others pain and suffering. From that moment forward I told myself I would not be flicking random people off and be more conscious of my actions while I drive. This experience could of ended in another a whole different way if I had been a bit more impulsive and fought the man. I probably would have ended up getting arrested, shot, or even worse killed and would not be here typing this today. Life is so indeterminable and people are very impulsive. Especially people who are deeply in a temporary mode of pain and suffering. These types of people have no problem with fighting or hurting a random stranger like you and I. For people who are more sincere towards other they will still be angry and project that anger out onto the road other drivers, but they are less likely to cause a scene. If you really want to see how well someone such as a friend/ significant other can hold their composer and not let other people’s character dictate and have control over them, watch how they drive. Simple as that. There will be many happenings on the road where the driver’s inner self will be tested and their reactions will tell you a lot about them. For if a person is calm, relaxed, and well grounded how can they be moved by such ignorant actions from others. Such a person won’t even speak or think ill upon others while driving, even though there may seem reason to, their quiescent inner being will not react.

I realize now and have even taken a conscious step forward to try and not be moved by the ignorant driving of others. I will not allow my being to be controlled by another’s negative choice. It is so. We do not even realize that we lose our self for a moment and we let these unconscious drivers take control of our lives. The only true everlasting fix to this problem in society is not enforcing laws or regulations, but to get rid of the pain and the suffering at it’s core. This is on a whooooole ‘nother level of consciousness and requires much more action that just sitting here and typing. I do have faith though that it is possible, not to say when… but I know.. this is possible.

Live How YOU Want to Live

Hello everyone. Today I would like to briefly write about how many of us, (myself included) can sometimes let the wants and needs of others around us influence our decisions in life too much. There are many different variables and subjective ways to approach and conceive this reality-idea due to every person having different life existences and levels of consciousness. So.. if you can connect with what I am about to write here you already have the necessary means to adapt and change.

Lets briefly go back.. back to our ages of around one through seven years old. During this time of our childhood is when our brain and being is the most susceptible to our environment. We don’t just learn by mommy and daddy telling us not to touch the hot stove, we actually learn more by just simply watching and being around our parent(s)/guardian(s). There is a whole explanation for this but for now this can be proven if we just look at nature and a little bit of science. In nature, young animals will watch the mother animal hunt and track down their prey. The animal learns by simply being in the moment and observing the outside. And for all the materialists out there this can also be proven if you understand the basics of mirror neurons. Okay.. now that we understand that we now can come to the realization that our mind in our early childhood is almost in a hypnotic state of being. Our brain waves are literally in a set mode that makes us susceptible to outside influences. This is when our beliefs, preconceptions, and conditioning develop. And depending on our guardian(s) most us will have very limitative modes of consciousness due to the simple reality of Societal’s deep psychological programming. Now of course all of our lives are not the same and we all have different experiences of trauma and ways we adapt to this trauma determinate. Some of us may have had horrible childhoods while some have not. Either way though, it is not healthy nor beneficial to have a victim-mentality and compare traumas. For the overall feelings and emotions of our negative childhoods can be seen as equal and one in the same, just the experience varies. Sadness is felt as sadness, loneliness is felt as loneliness, insecurity is felt as insecurity. Although most of these experiences are not asked for, we do have the power to choose how we react and adapt to our past and present-moment circumstances. (This statement alone is a very powerful fact and one must understand and embody this in their being) Throughout our child-hood, teen-hood, and even into our early twenties we are told what to do. We are given morals, values, and ethics that have formed the mind we possess now. Most of us are aware of the simple rules and laws, aware of the ‘common courtesy’ ideas, and aware of the ‘rights and wrongs’. Now although of-course these idea-forms are important for a ‘ethical’ society, but they may be very deceiving to the creative individual. Society try’s to make it seem like EVERYONE wants to or should go to college, get the degree, find that perfect lover, purchase that white-picked fenced home, have that beautiful child and live happily ever after. Now to a lot of people this sounds promising, this sounds secure. But to the person who knows for themselves that life has waaaay more to offer they will question and find this forced idea confusing and limiting. For ALLLLL our lives especially our early ages we are told what to do and how to act. We begin to do and say things that we do not want to do or say, and we simultaneously do not do and say the things we truly want to say or do. Reluctance takes over our life. This in effect can create problems with our relationships with others, our jobs, careers, hobbies, free-time, and most importantly ourselves. Life becomes EVEN MORE confusing than it already is!

Let us remember today that nature-reality is not as we think it is. But in a confusing and complementary way it IS what we think it is. Truly, there are no rules here. Truly there are no laws, ethics, morals, values and other limited idea-forms here. What may seem to be justifiable in one circumstance may be completely wicked in another. For the death penalty can be given to a murderer but medals and accolades will be given to soldiers. You possess the power within to live the life you want and become the person you foresee. You set the boundaries in a boundless Universe. And only you can change your current mode of being and environment to what aligns with what you truly want at this moment. Go into the unknown, go into the delight.