Having thy mental-being within the unified consciousness and coming to India one could feel the aliveness, unity, and love within everything and everyone. Arriving in West-Benghal, a boy set to explore the disruptive set-times of its bussling roads of Kolkata. I found my 30 minute walk to the Howrah station to be quite simple and yet a half-expressive peace within my Being put forth due to the observance of new life-being and stimuli around me. There was no nervousness amongst the walk, there was no anxiety with the stroll. In the initial set off from the hotel there indeed was a mixed-jumbled shyness. This quickly faded as I brought my concentration back to That. To summarise the reactive expression of people around as I walked through the town, I found it to be looks of interest, rather than looks of negative-judgement I would recieve from the peoples. Countless people were indeed looking at me for the sake of what it seemed to me, wonder. Everyone involved in city life of small city-shop-exchangememt, had a natural flow of harmony one cannot put into words. Having this been my first experience out of my nation consciousness it took me to a state of being I can term as concentrated-alertness. The culture-shock that most people speak of is derived from the ego separated from the Self. For to be shocked by a culture is the mind judging the culture leading to a separated thought and the emotion of fear. I could not relate to this. Once arrived at the station, I did my thing there, and told my self I will enjoy this walk instead having a alerted concentrated movement. The 30 minute walk back to the hotel was indeed more United. I looked at the things more, I observed the details of the people, food, traffic, shops, and street-buildings with more depth. I came to realise that the small experience I had of the Kolkata city-life during its traffic hour is a hasty disordered-order flow. This and that intermingling upon each other in respective-cordial manners. I found it very pleasing.
Now, having the necessary drop of consciousness of thy being I am becoming more and more by the Golden Truth Dawns.
For I admit, do I fear man? No. Do I fear spirit? Nay. Spirit is all consciousness within everything and everyone, and it is the fall of the Self I took that brought me back to the self-judgementized way of looking how I can keep things in Harmony at all times of thy action amongst a town that is majoritively divided from me. I see the divine within, I see the love within, I acknowledge the truth within. It is not fear within that exists as I move about in this Divine-Life, rather I currently come to feel it being at certain times and circumstances a unnecessary yet required self-hassled judgement of thy action and its effect it has on me and the entire effectuation of my uncontrollable illusive character within the town. I understand this is ignorant, and as I look at it from the new-born rising Divine consciousness I attain now, it is quite inevitable. For I am now obtaining the wisdom of the occult workings and the force movements within them have its effect on not only the world but the individual human psyche coupled along with the social mingling of others constituting to the distortion of our self-percieved identities. This is a rise out of a fall. And it is only by this ascending and descending state of existence that the infinite-Being can learn, prosper, and become its Truth of Love-Self; Vasudeva.
The Truth is Becoming. Come and see. Love.
What is true fear? What is fear? Why must I add the word ‘True’ in front of the vibration we have all come to know as if I know something the others do not? The fact is that we all have our own individual idea of what is true fear and how and what it brings our state of being to and our outward living expressions of our entire divine conscious being in contact with that. With that!? Isn’t That, this though? And arnt I That…? For that is Thee..and Thee is the Divine. So I have come full circle from experience and realization to sincerely admit to my self that I am afraid of cosmic-love. The Divine is everything and everyone simply saying, Thee is the Oneness expressing itself in the diversified infinitude and That diversified infinitude expressing it’s Self from the Oneness. And if Love is what is the most highest, supernal, truest state of our infinite, eternal, limitless, and immortal satchitananda Existence then true fear is the being afraid to Live, feel, think, act and Be with that Loving Truth at every moment of our lives. Love is All, All is Love and the moment I face the True Fear of fearing to Love everything and everyone sincerely which is my own individual Divine Self-Being, Other-self divinity within them, and Nature-Self’s Divine Truth within it. There is a force of illusive yet partially-true fear intermixing with that all-encompassing Love because I am the one bringing it into conscious existence by drawing my thoughts and concentration to it. My subjective/objective reality originates from that so therefore if I am willing to Love for the sake of Love than I believe we can all have that Divine-Love at some point in our Existence here upon earth in Space-Time for this is the Divine Kingdom after all and it has been know throught legends and history that that is our consumated existince. As Sri Aurobindo has said, the Supermind, Superperson, and Supramental conscious-force within matter is the Truth we all are a part of in this evolution and involution of consciousness. We are Becoming, and we shall and will Be with That. Love.
How many days can one bear the heat before they reach the light?
Who can manage the pain before victorizing the light?
How can one be tomorrow, while living for today?
Why can one see without the vast open limitless eye?
What force can make one feel the ray that which all has within?
Where can one find the one who is there in all?
When can the Truth be known, for Love shall be all?
Seven stars in the Vast
O Grace I thank Thee
O lord Thy being awaits Thee
O lord Thy patience is ever here for you
O lord my will is yours
O lord my day is yours
O lord your eternal sun is ours
O lord our inner truth is Thee
May the Supreme reign Upon us
Vasudeva is all
Motivation and will-power are two topics that contain numerous subtopics within its explanation. And from my perception I would say that both will-power and motivation can come from external stimuli and internal experiences and realizations. Motivation is not a simple black and white subject to understand. If one were to go to YouTube and search “How to become motivated”, there will be (for a majority of the videos at least) a multitude of short-length videos giving mentalized steps that one must know and understand to become motivated. I am not saying that this is wrong but it is only addressing one part of our Selfs and not the many other parts that are intermixing and fluctuating together to make up our true entire being. One having this knowledge of motivation within the mind (this is our mental being) can certainly bring a temporary burst and feeling of motivation. But, as I said earlier, motivation is not only a complex quality to understand and know but to also live, act, and be with that knowledge uninterruptedly throughout one’s life is quite difficult. I believe if this were not so than it would be easy-peezy for the majority of society to Become and get things done and sow the seeds now so it may reap its fruits later. A key fact to understand about motivation is that one cannot live and act in this quality if they do not understand and have the knowledge of will-power. Will-power is the core and basis of motivation. If one lacks or only puts forth a small portion of their will-power then there may be a high chance and correlation of that person feeling unmotivated. When a person thinks of and is trying to become motivated they will end up coming to the realization that it is the intelligent-will-power that brings the quality of motivation in its most secure way. The intelligent-will (buddhi) of the human and its ability to discern this from that is what makes us superior to our lower nature of our animal-Self. If I were to try and explain this along with the multiple parts of our being, as I had mentioned earlier, this short-essay would transform into a novel. For the time being one may read what I have expressed here and reflect upon it, and if it has given you more insight on the seemingly ever-confusing topic of motivation than may one acknowledge their step upwards and onwards within their life-path.
[Prescript: I wrote this around sometime late 2021 I believe..? Due to the ‘freestyle’ or ‘flow’ mode, per say, there are no paragraphs. Currently I feel a nudge more than in the past to put my thoughts into digital form. Day by day my self-expression will unfold and I will come here when I feel the spontaneous will arise from within and will transfer these conscious thoughts sporadically.]
How many times have I opened up to myself? What does it even mean to open up to thyself. Perhaps it is a static action in which I self-reflect on my entire being. The thoughts, emotions, actions, beliefs, ideas, desires, needs, wants, purpose, faith, circumstances, events, and countless other external and internal movements and forces that I am subject to within this existence. I cannot even begin to bring up a possible number of how many times I have been in a state of conscious self-reflection. I have had this self-awareness from as far back as elementary school. From being called “hard-headed” for wanting to know why I should act/think/feel in a certain way. For I was not questioning out of non-compliance but out of curiosity and reasoning. Perhaps my parent’s responses of “because I said so” or “don’t ask why just listen to me” were both ignorant yet valid in its own way. I believe they misunderstood my questioning as a sign of disobedience and looked at it in a rather negative and fragmented way. Instead of the opposite end of the pendulum which is my intrinsic nature of wander for truth and knowledge. I understand the necessity in their actions and while it is not entirely a deconstructive way of communication, it can become so if it is overused. For as a parent there are certain boundaries and limits one must place upon their child. And what may be right in one circumstance may not be so in the next circumstance. At the base and essence of relationships they are quite subjective and relative to each individual. As time went on I adapted to this idea that I should not question my parents and “do as I’m told” without questioning. For the most part I did obey, but there were times where I would backtalk and would get set in my place real quick. As I aged into the beginning of my teens I started to question my parents less and started to question myself more. Not only myself but at the time I would question myself within this confusing existence. I would ponder about the world, its meaning, its inception, its creator, its purpose, its origin, its ending. This would couple with the questions and a search for knowledge of myself and things that just didn’t make sense to me. I believe my experiences and happenings in my child hood also contributed to this need for attaining knowledge and trying to make sense of the falsehood-life that had a hold of me. My mind for most of my entire life had always been my worst enemy. If it wasn’t another person putting me down and myself allowing them to than it was I who would do it as well. Simply put, It is quite deconstructive and retrogressive to not believe in yourself. In other articles/journals I shall go more in depth with my struggles and wounds both within and without and how I reacted to them. For the reactions and attitude that is taken upon the self and the mind determines our reality and its possibilities within it greatly.
This may sound negative to most but in a higher truth sometimes the negative side of things is a better teacher than the positive. Having said that, I believe to have regrets of one’s past is to not realize the higher Truth of life. The One Manifestation of life gives us situations, catalyst, and happenings and we react how we are meant to in those present moments. So to say I wish I could go back and change this or tell myself that would effect our present self and is a sign of not unconditionally accepting the path we have already been down which has made us who we are today. That is not to say we don’t learn from our past and can share those teachings with others, but to “regret” our past self is limiting. That mentality will continue and one will say what do I regret about my 30s,40s,50s etc. Subjective idea-forms of the mind create distorted morals and ethics that are relevant to each individual. Life is an involution and evolution of consciousness throwing up forces and movements we consciously or subconsciously react to in each perceived second of the day. Regret nothing for when the time of transition comes and this body shall cast away one may ascend with Grace.
One who is not conscious is inconscious, or in the darkness. This is society’s false outer state of being. This is the ego. And in our current time of existence the majority of society puts a taboo on the darkness and oversimplifies life to fit into this box of strict all-positive existence. To convert this darkness one must adapt their attitude and concentrate to bring the conscious light/truth to their existence. Therefore understanding and comprehending the self, other-selfs, and nature-self is an educating of the being. This is where the will to educate oneself is important in ones life. Learning higher truths apart from the lower and partial truths play a significant role in our life more than people realize. One unconsciously chooses to educate themselves through the inevitable life-experience that is manifesting all of life omnipotently, this is the majority. As for the minority one may also choose to educate themselves not only through life-experience but also through inner-experience, through an aspiration of a higher knowledge. Here one develops a relationship with their selfs by curing their wounds, traumas, and hidden scars. One faces the darkness, one faces the suffering head on and acknowledges and accepts it for what it is. This can only be done through sincere action and ones true ability to put their ultimate freedom of choice in movement for the work of all-work. One cannot simply ‘be told’ to do so. One may suggest but it is up to the being to authentically and sincerely take part in the True-work. If one does not want to take the path of a yogi, the work of working on oneself to cure their wounds can be done for its own sake as well.
But this conscious true-work is not necessary for everybody. One knows intuitively whether or not it is naturally needed for thyself. If one begins the true-work out of a false calling and later decides it is not for them, there is no judgement nor belittling of that choice to do so. The yogi and the persons of the majority are equal in their being yet in their individual eternal consciousness they vary from higher and lower Light. Nonetheless, in the higher view both of life and of yoga, all life is either consciously or subconsciously a yoga. Everything and everyone is interactively becoming.
How do we remember and remanence the people we were close to? Well, I believe depending on the person who is doing the reminiscing it can vary. Of course each person is different and will either feel a feeling of overwhelming grief, sadness, or emptiness. But that becomes a choice once that void is healed. Once that is healed one can choose to take the time and think back to the memories and transform the feeling of sadness that suddenly and impulsively arose into grace, peace, and joy. This requires a concentration though, one must concentrate in the moment and feel this feeling start to arise and then consciously choose to transform it to its higher vibration of Harmony. This is relative to each individual and depending on their will-power and consciousness, will determine their adaptability to integrate this into themselves. Now normally when we take the time to stop and think about the feelings, thoughts, situations, and happenings we shared with this passed person we tend to stick only to the positive side of things. While there is nothing wrong or right about this I believe we can learn and draw valuable lessons from the shadow or “negative” side of the person who passed. For example, as I sit here and write this I think of my father and the love he showed indirectly and the knowledge he left behind without him even being aware. Just by him being himself I can now look back upon and think.. wow.. experiences that I had with him he was unconsciously showing me peace and interactive-meditation. At the time though I was not able to see it for what is was due to my fragmented lens of perception and seeing things in a separated ego-centric manner. On the other side I look at the shadow side of him and ask myself what can I learn from this. I think back to the pain and suffering he held deep within himself to which he would at times project this onto me and others. And instead of forming a low vibration of resentment and hate towards him for this behavior, I choose to understand and reminisce the lesson and teaching it leaves behind. I choose to not let what most people would call “bad” or “wrong” actions of him, deter me away from the information it leaves behind in my psyche and understand it instead of judging it. For I know He and I are not the only ones who experience these low vibrations and painful experiences. I know that my individual experience is felt and experienced by other individuals in this collective society we all share together.
This confusion, pain, and suffering we all feel is real. It is as real as the joy, bliss, and peace that we all progress and strive towards. But I know that the pain, suffering, and confusion is only a product of the separation-ignorance that comes from our egoistic selfs. For Divine Love will triumph ill-will every time. The shadow ceases to exist once the luminous light is cast upon it.