Motivation and will-power are two topics that contain numerous subtopics within its explanation. And from my perception I would say that both will-power and motivation can come from external stimuli and internal experiences and realizations. Motivation is not a simple black and white subject to understand. If one were to go to YouTube and search “How to become motivated”, there will be (for a majority of the videos at least) a multitude of short-length videos giving mentalized steps that one must know and understand to become motivated. I am not saying that this is wrong but it is only addressing one part of our Selfs and not the many other parts that are intermixing and fluctuating together to make up our true entire being. One having this knowledge of motivation within the mind (this is our mental being) can certainly bring a temporary burst and feeling of motivation. But, as I said earlier, motivation is not only a complex quality to understand and know but to also live, act, and be with that knowledge uninterruptedly throughout one’s life is quite difficult. I believe if this were not so than it would be easy-peezy for the majority of society to Become and get things done and sow the seeds now so it may reap its fruits later. A key fact to understand about motivation is that one cannot live and act in this quality if they do not understand and have the knowledge of will-power. Will-power is the core and basis of motivation. If one lacks or only puts forth a small portion of their will-power then there may be a high chance and correlation of that person feeling unmotivated. When a person thinks of and is trying to become motivated they will end up coming to the realization that it is the intelligent-will-power that brings the quality of motivation in its most secure way. The intelligent-will (buddhi) of the human and its ability to discern this from that is what makes us superior to our lower nature of our animal-Self. If I were to try and explain this along with the multiple parts of our being, as I had mentioned earlier, this short-essay would transform into a novel. For the time being one may read what I have expressed here and reflect upon it, and if it has given you more insight on the seemingly ever-confusing topic of motivation than may one acknowledge their step upwards and onwards within their life-path.
Tag: mental-health
Opening Up To Thyself
[Prescript: I wrote this around sometime late 2021 I believe..? Due to the ‘freestyle’ or ‘flow’ mode, per say, there are no paragraphs. Currently I feel a nudge more than in the past to put my thoughts into digital form. Day by day my self-expression will unfold and I will come here when I feel the spontaneous will arise from within and will transfer these conscious thoughts sporadically.]
How many times have I opened up to myself? What does it even mean to open up to thyself. Perhaps it is a static action in which I self-reflect on my entire being. The thoughts, emotions, actions, beliefs, ideas, desires, needs, wants, purpose, faith, circumstances, events, and countless other external and internal movements and forces that I am subject to within this existence. I cannot even begin to bring up a possible number of how many times I have been in a state of conscious self-reflection. I have had this self-awareness from as far back as elementary school. From being called “hard-headed” for wanting to know why I should act/think/feel in a certain way. For I was not questioning out of non-compliance but out of curiosity and reasoning. Perhaps my parent’s responses of “because I said so” or “don’t ask why just listen to me” were both ignorant yet valid in its own way. I believe they misunderstood my questioning as a sign of disobedience and looked at it in a rather negative and fragmented way. Instead of the opposite end of the pendulum which is my intrinsic nature of wander for truth and knowledge. I understand the necessity in their actions and while it is not entirely a deconstructive way of communication, it can become so if it is overused. For as a parent there are certain boundaries and limits one must place upon their child. And what may be right in one circumstance may not be so in the next circumstance. At the base and essence of relationships they are quite subjective and relative to each individual. As time went on I adapted to this idea that I should not question my parents and “do as I’m told” without questioning. For the most part I did obey, but there were times where I would backtalk and would get set in my place real quick. As I aged into the beginning of my teens I started to question my parents less and started to question myself more. Not only myself but at the time I would question myself within this confusing existence. I would ponder about the world, its meaning, its inception, its creator, its purpose, its origin, its ending. This would couple with the questions and a search for knowledge of myself and things that just didn’t make sense to me. I believe my experiences and happenings in my child hood also contributed to this need for attaining knowledge and trying to make sense of the falsehood-life that had a hold of me. My mind for most of my entire life had always been my worst enemy. If it wasn’t another person putting me down and myself allowing them to than it was I who would do it as well. Simply put, It is quite deconstructive and retrogressive to not believe in yourself. In other articles/journals I shall go more in depth with my struggles and wounds both within and without and how I reacted to them. For the reactions and attitude that is taken upon the self and the mind determines our reality and its possibilities within it greatly.
Have No Regrets
This may sound negative to most but in a higher truth sometimes the negative side of things is a better teacher than the positive. Having said that, I believe to have regrets of one’s past is to not realize the higher Truth of life. The One Manifestation of life gives us situations, catalyst, and happenings and we react how we are meant to in those present moments. So to say I wish I could go back and change this or tell myself that would effect our present self and is a sign of not unconditionally accepting the path we have already been down which has made us who we are today. That is not to say we don’t learn from our past and can share those teachings with others, but to “regret” our past self is limiting. That mentality will continue and one will say what do I regret about my 30s,40s,50s etc. Subjective idea-forms of the mind create distorted morals and ethics that are relevant to each individual. Life is an involution and evolution of consciousness throwing up forces and movements we consciously or subconsciously react to in each perceived second of the day. Regret nothing for when the time of transition comes and this body shall cast away one may ascend with Grace.
Remembering Our Past Loved Ones
How do we remember and remanence the people we were close to? Well, I believe depending on the person who is doing the reminiscing it can vary. Of course each person is different and will either feel a feeling of overwhelming grief, sadness, or emptiness. But that becomes a choice once that void is healed. Once that is healed one can choose to take the time and think back to the memories and transform the feeling of sadness that suddenly and impulsively arose into grace, peace, and joy. This requires a concentration though, one must concentrate in the moment and feel this feeling start to arise and then consciously choose to transform it to its higher vibration of Harmony. This is relative to each individual and depending on their will-power and consciousness, will determine their adaptability to integrate this into themselves. Now normally when we take the time to stop and think about the feelings, thoughts, situations, and happenings we shared with this passed person we tend to stick only to the positive side of things. While there is nothing wrong or right about this I believe we can learn and draw valuable lessons from the shadow or “negative” side of the person who passed. For example, as I sit here and write this I think of my father and the love he showed indirectly and the knowledge he left behind without him even being aware. Just by him being himself I can now look back upon and think.. wow.. experiences that I had with him he was unconsciously showing me peace and interactive-meditation. At the time though I was not able to see it for what is was due to my fragmented lens of perception and seeing things in a separated ego-centric manner. On the other side I look at the shadow side of him and ask myself what can I learn from this. I think back to the pain and suffering he held deep within himself to which he would at times project this onto me and others. And instead of forming a low vibration of resentment and hate towards him for this behavior, I choose to understand and reminisce the lesson and teaching it leaves behind. I choose to not let what most people would call “bad” or “wrong” actions of him, deter me away from the information it leaves behind in my psyche and understand it instead of judging it. For I know He and I are not the only ones who experience these low vibrations and painful experiences. I know that my individual experience is felt and experienced by other individuals in this collective society we all share together.
This confusion, pain, and suffering we all feel is real. It is as real as the joy, bliss, and peace that we all progress and strive towards. But I know that the pain, suffering, and confusion is only a product of the separation-ignorance that comes from our egoistic selfs. For Divine Love will triumph ill-will every time. The shadow ceases to exist once the luminous light is cast upon it.
We Unconsciously Limit Ourselves
It seems certain to me that most people in todays society limit their selfs to both the given labels that they have acquired through outside endeavors and the personal labels they have given their-self and to which they hold onto very tightly. Some acquired self-labels for example are things like our careers. I am a doctor. I am a dentist. I am a lawyer. I am a plumber. I am a mechanic. I am a real estate agent. Other labels one believes to have are personal labels such as values, morals, and ethics. I am caring. I am good. I am bad. I am honest. I am coercive. I am funny. I am stupid. Both type of labels whether they are positive or negative have their place and can be useful in certain happenings and in certain situations. But I find that more of the time than not these labels limit us. For example, if I believe myself to be a doctor who has graduated from a highly-rated University I will believe and let my egotistical self become unshakeable to another’s perception of health-knowledge. Of course it depends on the type of person this doctor is, but for the most part they will hold this label very close to them and disregard others viewpoints. Yes, the doctor has studied and knows certain things that one who does not have a degree does not know. But at the same time this world and the self are eternally evolving and progressing and is subjective and relative to both the self, other-selfs, and nature-self. To many people put all of their trust and beliefs into a doctors idea-formation without even doing their own due diligence. There are many reasons for this but to generalize one reason is simply because most people dislike inconvenience. People will tend to take things at face-value rather than ‘reading between the lines’. Misdiagnosis and medical error is the third leading cause of death in the U.S. We are currently in a time where we are making vast improvements and discoveries in the health industry, but this is done so on very limited means. These advancements and discoveries are limited. How so you ask? Well in a society where the understanding of life, self, and nature are both confusing and limited to the general public this causes many limitative idea-forms not only for the person who has formed this perception but also to the others who unconsciously allow themselves to believe in this one idea-form out of the unlimited possibilities that one is capable of creating. Society draws objectivity and truth to beliefs and idea-forms that seem to be correct and true to the vast majority of other people. In other words.. they only believe this and that because more people believe in this over that. To over-generalize lets take a hundred people. This group of a hundred people are on a bridge and ninety of them all at once jump off the bridge while only ten of them stay back. This is their logic, it is not stupid, but ignorant? Yes. Of course to the one jumping off the bridge they are unconsciously doing so because superficially it seems ‘right’ since everyone else is doing it. I share with you now the response my mother would give to me when she would ask me why I did something I was not suppose to do. My excuse when I was a child to why I did something I was not supposed to do was, “I did it because so and so did it.” To which she would tell me, “If so and so jumped off a bridge would you too?” My mother said this intuitively to me and it is quite funny because she is hypocritical when it comes to that statement. For she does not even understand the depth and Truth in it. I am not being disrespectful I am just being Truthful, it only sounds like I am disrespecting her because you do not understand our relationship to each other and all of the other information needed to see why I have said what I said. That is a whole ‘nother topic in its own and I am not going to get into that at this moment. Anyways, as I was saying.. this bridge question was more than a question. She was unconsciously describing me as a person. I didn’t know it in and through the past times of my life but I was always the one who did not ‘jump off the bridge’ because I saw everyone else doing it. I did not follow the peers around me and was always the odd one out. Now a lot of people like to claim this and a lot of people will falsely say they were never followers. But the people who go around telling others about this when it is unnecessary and only being said to boost their ego are not sincerely that. I understand I may sound contradicting to the reader but let me further explain myself.. this life of being the odd one out and not having mob mentality is not what it seems. I can only speak about it in Sincerity because I have been able to come out of the darkness for which it consequently puts one through. When i was younger and separated, lonely, bullied, teased, looked down upon, low self-esteem, depressed, low self-worth and many other negative idea-forms I had of myself. At a young age, one does not choose to be different. At a young age one does not get to make the choice of not being like the others. I was just.. living. Existing. And due to both physical and mental reasons I was the kid who did not fit in and in effect this led me to question myself deeply and to be confused as to why I am the way I am. From a young age I have always thought deeply about myself and the world around me, what else was there to do when you had hardly any friends to connect with and did not fit in with any crowd throughout the entire course of grade-school. I have briefly shared this with you all to give a slight awareness as to why not following the other blindly leads one down a path of temporary suffering. Fast forward to the now. In this present moment and in this time I still do not ‘fit in’. But my limited idea-forms and labels I once had of myself are not the representation of the being and consciousness I embody today. For all the years and all the steps taken down that pathway of self-limiting and suffering have brought me immense Joy and Gratitude today. The pain and suffering were necessary, if I could go back and change one thing I would change no thing, For these past happenings have brought me to a consciousness that is indescribable and ultimately cannot be understood by words. I can do my very best to explain precisely yes, but that would than turn into a novel lol. Also it is something that can be better understood when one has experienced what I am writing about because I understand that I am not the only one who has gone through the inevitable consequences that come about when one is not a ‘follower’. There are many others as well. If one is a follower that does not make them any less or not as ‘good’ as me. I do not think like that at all, for I believe that we are all unique individuals whether we have group mentality are not. We are all teachers and learners upon this vast and unlimited mysterious existence. A label of any kind and all kinds is very important to understand. For depending on the plane of our consciousness these labels can limit us for the worse or for the better. The choice is ours.
POSTSCRIPT: This is a journal style writing. Or what I like to refer as, intuitive writing. I wrote this in a mode of self-expression but at the same time altering my expression to be understood by the one reading. No corrections, no edits, no read-backs. I will just allow it to be as is.
Resenting and Hating Other-Selfs
If we can imagine for this time being while I write this and you read it. That if all is really one and the universe is absolute and in its most powerful and highest being harmonious and omniscient. Then if we want to align to that and get as close as possible to having that essence in our individuality than it is important to be very mindful of who we resent and who are what we hate. Now of course it is difficult to keep this being and concentration day by day, second by second as one endeavors in this spontaneous existence. But with practice, perseverance, and sincerity it is only inevitable that through experience and time in this Space-Time realm we can master this eventually. But for now if we want to be in harmony with the Supreme Joyful ultimate vibration of Unity and indivisibleness then it only seems logical that by feeling and thinking of lower energies and vibrations such as Hate and Resentment we in effect change our vibration to a lower state of existence. When people, places, or things test our essence of Truth and we respond and even worse hold low vibrations of hate and resentment than we are automatically giving our True Higher power within us away. We are letting a “piece” of our wholistic delicious pie be eaten by ignorant forces. The more people we hate and if we look at our past relationships with other-selfs with a negative vision such as resentfulness than we are drawing away our Life-Force/Life-Power/Life-Energy. If we then take the word I used at the beginning of this sharing, imagine, and instead replace it with Be. Be that oneness that is both embodying our individuality and our multiplicity of everyone and everything than we come into power and in alignment with the Absolute Consciousness. For everything and everyone is this, the “good” and the “bad”. The “pain and suffering” and the Joy and Peace. Everything is intermingling and co-existing among and within each and all. We have the choice to embrace this wholly or partially. No one can tell you nor I what to do or which portion to vibrate with. If all opposites and divided materialities are in essence one then it makes sense to me I want to be as close as possible to this oneness that I can possibly be. And there may be times where life hits us with roadblocks and we have no choice but to flow with this current happening.. but then there comes a time where we can choose how we react and remember these happenings. And by choosing Hate and Resentment we unconsciously keep our self in lower states of vibration because all is within all and it is disempowering to keep our consciousness in these lower states. By unconditionally accepting everything and everyone we align more to Love. For Life is Love and Love is Life…Truly. But perhaps life and love is another topic for next time..
If You’re Reading This..
If you’re reading this right now I will generalize and over state two states of being one can be in. Let’s say one is suffering and let’s say the other is gratitude. If one is in a temporary state of being of suffering than I am here to remind you it is okay to feel that way, and there is nothing “wrong” nor “bad” about it. That current temporary mode of existence has its purpose and if you want you can choose to persevere and work through it or you can temporarily avoid it. Either way the choice is yours.
But today I want to focus more so on gratitude. As I sit outside on the ground in my driveway gazing upon the trees and watching these wasps and other “scary” flying bugs fly around and come close to I feel deeply a sense of calmness and gratitude. I with the sun high above and it’s luminous rays contacting my skin I find in this simple moment I cannot ask for anything more nor wish of anything to be less. Of course I like adventures, exploring, creating, and other positive experiences and events. But honestly.. I think there is nothing that is greater nor less than just sitting down outside and being here. Being here in full, being here in Delight, being here in existence. Stillness to me is one of the most exuberating “activity” one can engage in. And I don’t mean to come off philosophical or overly spiritual. I am just flowing with whatever comes out of my inner-self and not letting my mind get in the way. This stillness and immobility is very dear to me. I don’t need to close my eyes and meditate into nirvana. None of us do (unless you feel the inner need to), for that nirvana is already here and can be tapped into with an open eye and an open being.
Sincerity
What does sincerity mean to you? How does being sincere in ones life lead to true expression of one’s individual self and how does this in effect positively influence those around you? To me, being sincere is a way of life. Sincerity is not something that can be learned intellectually but rather a being in which one begins to progress towards. Sincerity is similar to honesty, truth, and authenticity. For all of these modes of existence are at the core of our inner-self. But through the ignorance into which we are born, as we grow older and as we form false mental formations of ourselves we temporarily separate from this true state of existence. If one were to ask you.. Are you True? Are you authentic? Most of us would answer the question with a yes. But how many persons of society that would answer with a yes actually embody that response day in day out? How many people are there who are sincere with not only themselves, but to other-selfs and nature-self? For it is one thing to trick our mind and fill up our superficial-egos with a half authentic answer of a yes without even putting in the effort every day and existing with True-Sincerity. To be clear just because one lives a life of sincerity does not mean they are better than the other. Living a life of sincerity is a choice one makes with their free-will. Living a life of Truth is a choice that requires a great deal of concentration amongst one’s being every second of the day. For this is quite difficult due to the human-nature of impulse, egoistic desires, and automatic habitual action. When one begins to ask themselves.. Am I sincere? Another question would be required to ponder on, do I TRUST? Do I trust myself? Do I trust other-selfs? Do I trust Nature-self? To live with sincerity is to live in Trust and to Trust is to live in sincerity. In the current time we are all experiencing at this moment Trust is the second most difficult thing to master besides Love. There are many reasons for this but just to name a few one could say that false media and entertainment deters our being from trust. Through unconscious psychological operations we are often led to believe half-truths that make us fear the unknown. Fearing the unknown is a common place trait in the majority of society today. But I ask you.. How can one fear something that one does not know? If we go deeper it is not fear that has entered our being but a half-truth limited idea-formation. What often leads to mistrust is trauma, wound-memories, and suffering experienced throughout our childhoods. Depending on the level of consciousness one embodies it is quite difficult to come to terms with what Trust really symbolizes. Trust is something that one must work on and it is something that requires a consciousness of perseverance and unconditional-acceptance of self, other-self, and nature-self.
Existing with sincerity has many positive effects when one is out in the material-world intermingling with other-selfs. There is a silent vibration one unconsciously picks up when a sincere person is around. People tend to gravitate towards the sincere self and often will respect them without even trying to respect them. It comes very naturally and when one is in contact with a sincere person they subconsciously trust them even if they are strangers to each other. When one is sincere within themselves their vibration spreads to other-selfs and in effect they momentarily become sincere as well. In most cases, despite the obvious other end of the spectrum, embodying this truth of sincerity in one’s self leads to many positive happenings. True sincerity within all and all within help the Universe remember its essence of Harmony.
Inner & Outer Knowledge
A commonality of the self experiencing life is that we are constantly being pulled outwardly to discover the self, other-selfs, and nature. While at the same time the very same consciousness is being pulled inward waiting for the veil to lift and for the door to be willingly discovered and walked through. Our sense-mind is real and also very useful here in a 21st century world where materiality is highly responsible for evolution and progressive idea-forms and scientific discoveries. Due to the basis of the reality of our senses we tend to look at our selfs as a civilization that is farther advanced and highly intellectual compared to any other civilization that has come before us. This is the effect of the half-truth education that is thought in all American schools. While the modern day education system in America is not completely useless, there are partial-truths mixed in with Truths. This ultimately confuses the self and draws ill idea-forms that are based on false preconceptions, superficial studies only, and separative cognitive conditioning. The sense-mind has to willingly unlearn or at least broaden their consciousness to other possible idea-forms in order for reality to be less confusing. Just as we willingly consumed and allowed the misinformation in we must use the same will-power to alter and adapt new idea-forms and truth that align more to the essence of self, other-selfs, and Nature Earth. The ego-self does not like the thoughts nor feelings that are experienced when one begins to allow their consciousness to broaden. For it challenges it and makes it feel uncomfortable due to the unknown steps it unconsciously foresees has to be taken. When one has spent their whole life creating this outer ego and superficial self it can be painful to discover higher truths that naturally shift the ego-self to a mode of transcendence and self-discovery. It is commonly misunderstood that everyone and everything is limited in expressions. We form half-truth rules, morals, and ethics that divide us from the unlimited and endless potentialities that exist in the deeper forms of everything and everyone. The normal modern day societal collective perception also often leaves the individual to feel and think with a conscious that labels the self, other-selfs, and Earth Nature. We say, “This is that” and “That is this.” While this may be true it is also true that “This and that” are not separate nor limited to being only “That and This”. The modern day collective cognition does not fully understand Trust due to half truths taught not only to society through childhood conditioning but also because of the constant consumption of everyday media. This is far from any ‘Conspiracy’ for one only uses this label when their beliefs and preconceptions are being challenged to realize higher truths. These people who throw around the conspiracist label are unconsciously lacking willed self-evolution. Their consciousness is very small and it is not worth the time or effort to try and alter their perspective for they have all the right to be limited and bias if that’s what they choose to do. This is their truth and if they do not want to progress and concentrate their consciousness to a more wholistic integral knowing than one must let them peacefully be. But problems start the be formed when the self interacts with other-selfs who possess a limited consciousness. Other-selfs who do not embrace a wider span of consciousness often argue with the self who knows that everything in life does not have to be learned through the senses and that learning of history and the people there of are necessary for societies advancement. While yes one can learn many things from studying past other-selfs and events, the modern day self often forgets to trust in their self and the constantly evolving mind they possess. The world is a becoming and when one is constantly studying the past happenings they are unknowingly disregarding the current existing consciousness. If one were to take a moment and trust in thyself and trust in the universe they would soon come to realize that in this present moment a large majority of answers lie within and just beneath our superficial self. But one who cares about what society thinks of them and unconsciously follows the rules and preconceived ideas that are accepted they do not allow their selfs to Trust these ever-present inner knowings.
Sadness/Anxiety Fad
Hello everyone. Today I would like to share my opinion with all of you on the sensitive topic of ‘faking’ sadness and anxiety. Now before I began to share with you all what I have noticed over the span of a couple of years I want it to be clear that in no way am I trying to compare traumas or outright say people do not ‘authentically’ feel sad or anxious.
“Nowadays its funny cause the kids are faking sadness. But theres really nothing fun about being stuck in your room for a hundred days and a hundred nights wishing you can relate to the people outside.” This is a quote from one of my favorite artists that was said towards the end of his song, I have included it here due to it’s resonance within me and the truth of what is happening on social media. In the year of twenty-nineteen I decided to put a stop to the endless and meaningless observation of others through the social media apps of twitter, snapchat, and instagram. (I can write a blog about that another day going more in depth on what I learned and noticed after quitting social media for a year) But before I stopped observing peers through social media scrolling I noticed how there were many people on twitter who take serious problems such as sadness and anxiety and falsely exploit them. I would go down my twitter feed an notice how people are purposely wanting to feel sad or anxious. I don’t know.. it’s kind of hard to describe what I mean because I cannot sit here and write down word for word the posts that give off a sense of attention seeking behavior that derives off of this sadness and anxiety. But, on another note one can understand what I mean when we start to look at the modern day youth culture. The entertainment, artists, and even clothing designers take this very serious pain and try to make a couple bucks out of it. This in effect can subconsciously make the observer think, “Oh if I want to have that or be like that I must act like this” *Puts on Anti Social Social Club sweatshirt* The Majority of society follow others and want to be cool like the others. They imitate and act in ways that will make them belong, or at least make them THINK they belong. Now I am not saying that some of these people are not truly feeling sadness or anxiety, for they certainly can fill anxiety and sadness and post about it. But I believe there are very few people who openly express their feelings of sadness and anxiety as they are experiencing it. People who feel sadness and anxiety on a deep, dark, and suffering emotional level do not want to share that pain with others. In the moment when one truly feels and is experiencing this mode of existence they want nothing to do with others and certainly have no intention of being vulnerable online about it. From experience, when I was going through this mode of being I never expressed it to anyone. I was lonely. I was hurt. I was weak. And I could not find the courage within to let anyone know about this, because even if I did, I had at that time this false belief within that it wouldn’t solve are take it away anyways. I am only now able to express this experience because I have endured and spawned out of this false mode of existence. I have allowed myself to become grounded and more whole with nature and with myself. This takes time though, and depending on the person and their level of consciousness this can either be a sudden revampedment or a life long awaitment. And for others it may never happen because they choose not to face it for what it is.
Either way, one must know or will come to know this is only a false temporary mode of existence. And if you feel like it is forever, which it does feel like it will be ‘forever’, than I am here to tell you it is not and your are here to hear it is not so. Faith.