If you’re reading this right now I will generalize and over state two states of being one can be in. Let’s say one is suffering and let’s say the other is gratitude. If one is in a temporary state of being of suffering than I am here to remind you it is okay to feel that way, and there is nothing “wrong” nor “bad” about it. That current temporary mode of existence has its purpose and if you want you can choose to persevere and work through it or you can temporarily avoid it. Either way the choice is yours.
But today I want to focus more so on gratitude. As I sit outside on the ground in my driveway gazing upon the trees and watching these wasps and other “scary” flying bugs fly around and come close to I feel deeply a sense of calmness and gratitude. I with the sun high above and it’s luminous rays contacting my skin I find in this simple moment I cannot ask for anything more nor wish of anything to be less. Of course I like adventures, exploring, creating, and other positive experiences and events. But honestly.. I think there is nothing that is greater nor less than just sitting down outside and being here. Being here in full, being here in Delight, being here in existence. Stillness to me is one of the most exuberating “activity” one can engage in. And I don’t mean to come off philosophical or overly spiritual. I am just flowing with whatever comes out of my inner-self and not letting my mind get in the way. This stillness and immobility is very dear to me. I don’t need to close my eyes and meditate into nirvana. None of us do (unless you feel the inner need to), for that nirvana is already here and can be tapped into with an open eye and an open being.
Hello everyone. Today I would like to share my opinion with all of you on the sensitive topic of ‘faking’ sadness and anxiety. Now before I began to share with you all what I have noticed over the span of a couple of years I want it to be clear that in no way am I trying to compare traumas or outright say people do not ‘authentically’ feel sad or anxious.
“Nowadays its funny cause the kids are faking sadness. But theres really nothing fun about being stuck in your room for a hundred days and a hundred nights wishing you can relate to the people outside.” This is a quote from one of my favorite artists that was said towards the end of his song, I have included it here due to it’s resonance within me and the truth of what is happening on social media. In the year of twenty-nineteen I decided to put a stop to the endless and meaningless observation of others through the social media apps of twitter, snapchat, and instagram. (I can write a blog about that another day going more in depth on what I learned and noticed after quitting social media for a year) But before I stopped observing peers through social media scrolling I noticed how there were many people on twitter who take serious problems such as sadness and anxiety and falsely exploit them. I would go down my twitter feed an notice how people are purposely wanting to feel sad or anxious. I don’t know.. it’s kind of hard to describe what I mean because I cannot sit here and write down word for word the posts that give off a sense of attention seeking behavior that derives off of this sadness and anxiety. But, on another note one can understand what I mean when we start to look at the modern day youth culture. The entertainment, artists, and even clothing designers take this very serious pain and try to make a couple bucks out of it. This in effect can subconsciously make the observer think, “Oh if I want to have that or be like that I must act like this” *Puts on Anti Social Social Club sweatshirt* The Majority of society follow others and want to be cool like the others. They imitate and act in ways that will make them belong, or at least make them THINK they belong. Now I am not saying that some of these people are not truly feeling sadness or anxiety, for they certainly can fill anxiety and sadness and post about it. But I believe there are very few people who openly express their feelings of sadness and anxiety as they are experiencing it. People who feel sadness and anxiety on a deep, dark, and suffering emotional level do not want to share that pain with others. In the moment when one truly feels and is experiencing this mode of existence they want nothing to do with others and certainly have no intention of being vulnerable online about it. From experience, when I was going through this mode of being I never expressed it to anyone. I was lonely. I was hurt. I was weak. And I could not find the courage within to let anyone know about this, because even if I did, I had at that time this false belief within that it wouldn’t solve are take it away anyways. I am only now able to express this experience because I have endured and spawned out of this false mode of existence. I have allowed myself to become grounded and more whole with nature and with myself. This takes time though, and depending on the person and their level of consciousness this can either be a sudden revampedment or a life long awaitment. And for others it may never happen because they choose not to face it for what it is.
Either way, one must know or will come to know this is only a false temporary mode of existence. And if you feel like it is forever, which it does feel like it will be ‘forever’, than I am here to tell you it is not and your are here to hear it is not so. Faith.